Originally Posted by Neapolitan

Peter Gibbons: So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that’s on the worst day of my life.

Therapist:What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah.

Therapist: Wow, that’s messed up!

~~~

Samir: No one in this country can ever pronounce my name right. It’s not that hard: Nayee-Nanajar. Nayeenanajar.

Michael Bolton: Yeah, well, at least you’re name isn’t Michael Bolton.

Samir: You know, there’s nothing wrong with that name.

Michael Bolton: There WAS nothing wrong with it… until I was about 12 years old, and that no-talent-ass-clown because famous and started winning Grammys.

Samir: Why don’t you just go by Mike, instead of Michael?

Michael Bolton: No way! Why should I change it? He’s the one who sucks.