It's... not that good. I'd like to be more constructive than that, but I don't think there's anything here worth saving. You should... work on writing different songs that are as far away from what you have here as humanly possible.
The overuse of babe/baby, the lack of any sort of discernible originality, the melodrama and the general sense of an especially heinous sort of hardcore vapid stupidity all make me want to jab my eyes out with a drill-press and then hang myself from the CN Tower with an electrified rope that sends shocks in excess of 10,000 volts through my body as I slowly die. While listening to Dream Theater.
So, uh, good try?
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