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Merkaba · 01-06-2006, 02:51 PM

Crikey it's like a sad Nursery rhyme haha.

I think it's good. But I don't know about "Over a hoard" and then "Cutting wrists"...

It seems to miss a chunk of something. Like a piece of the puzzle.

And I agree with blacktshirt about the violens bit, it doesn't sit that nicely. But other then that I thought it was pretty clever.

01-06-2006, 02:51 PM	#6 (permalink)
Merkaba Whitewater! Join Date: Apr 2005 Location: New Zealand Posts: 2,882	Crikey it's like a sad Nursery rhyme haha. I think it's good. But I don't know about "Over a hoard" and then "Cutting wrists"... It seems to miss a chunk of something. Like a piece of the puzzle. And I agree with blacktshirt about the violens bit, it doesn't sit that nicely. But other then that I thought it was pretty clever. __________________ She thinks I'm a reclusive genius, she's going to be very disappointed when she finds out i'm a reclusive wanker