Do you remember the first time you were drunk? What happened?
Military school, probably around fifteen or sixteen. My roommate at the time had a water bottle filled with vodka and he shared it with me (we kind of hated each other, so I imagine he just wanted to see what would happen more than anything). I wasn't truly wasted, but I was definitely noticeably intoxicated.
You can live in any place in the world, where is it?
Some tropical island where nothing happens and I can spend the rest of my days smoking weed and drinking beer on the beach behind my shack.
Tell us a joke
What's red and smells like blue paint?
Ketchup - cupboard or fridge?
Fridge after it's opened. It says so right on the bottle, dumb ****s.
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
I imagine a bear is far stronger than a lion, and can withstand a lot of punishment, so one good hit and the lion is probably done for.
Name one bad habit you have
I'm proud of my bad habits: drinking, smoking, slacking off, being a dick to people on the internet, etc.