Quote:
Originally Posted by Oriphiel
I like that one, it's really abstract. I mentioned to the author that I thought it was about making bread (the dust is flour, which is rolled into dough, and then made into a loaf/cylinder, which is then sliced). You know, in a very avant garde way of describing it. Turns out I was wrong, but hey, it was a fun interpretation.  |
It did have a good concept, but the lofty language made that concept less effective. I know how to recognize this because I do it in my writing as well.