Stepping back just one year from Saxon's rather disappointing effort, and I would love to tell you that album cover was drawn by Asia/Yes mainstay artist Roger Dean --- it certainly looks like it --- but I can find little enough information on the band to be able to make such a claim. Still, as Batty would no doubt remark, it does look bitchin', doesn't it? And that, once again, is why I bought the album back in my misspent youth. What was it like? You know, rather like Split Beaver, I honestly don't know if I ever played the damn thing. It certainly looked cool, and they had a cool, if somewhat cliched name, but how did it sound?
Predator --- Bitches Sin --- 1982 (Heavy Metal Records)
Is there an omen in the fact that these guys were signed by the same label that signed, and then dropped, the Beavers? I wonder: were Heavy Metal Records (seriously: who ever thought of naming their company that?) the MCA of the lower leagues, a place where bands who either could have made it had they received proper backing, or the ones who were never good enough, went to die? Well, a quick check reveals that, surprisingly, they had German powerbrokers Accept on their books, though only till 1987. Still, that means that some of the German band's best albums were ... ah. No. No, I see now. They had Accept for one album, 1982's
Restless and Wild, which they
reissued in 1987, and that was it. Other than themselves then, it's as expected. A boneyard littered with the crushed skulls of bands like Quartz, Witchfinder General and Marshall Law, as well as --- hah! --- a band actually called Broken Bones! I hadn't seen that before I wrote that line, honestly. Oh, and the ill-fated Split Beaver of course. So not exactly a hub of activity or a springboard to the stars, then.
But to be totally fair, a label can only do so much (if they want to: during the heyday of the NWOBHM many of them just sat on their arses and collected their money while the bands sweated and toiled and got no support, but that's a story for another day) if the band has not got the talent, or the ambition to go further. How was it with Bitches Sin? Well, rather like some of the bands of that time they tended to switch their lineups a little too regularly, which never helps when you're trying to get yourself known and recording albums, to say nothing of gigging.
Interestingly, “April fool” kicks us off on a sweet blues run, grinding and powerful, and vocalist Tony Tomkinson has the kind of voice suited to this sort of music, almost dipping down into death metal hiss at times. Of course, I'm sure any guitarist will tell you that the blues is not essentially too hard to play if you have a modicum of talent, as it's pretty basic chord structure, so I can't really say if the two guitarists here are any good until I hear something a bit more intricate. But it's a good start, and they certainly know how to solo, do brothers and founders Ian and Pete Toomey. Could probably do without the stupid screams from Tomkinson as they solo though. They get to cut loose as “Haneka” opens with a more straightahead rock motif, though I must say Tomkinson struggles with the vocals here. It's like he's suited to the slower, crunchier stuff, but not too much at home with faster, cleaner material.
“Runaway” has that by-now-and-even-then-cliched sound of a motorbike revving, and Mark Biddiscombe acquits himself well on the drums here, but the song is nothing to shout about. Kind of reminds me of Mamas Boys, though nowhere near as good. “Lady lies” has a nice beat somewhat reminiscent of The Sweet's “Blockbuster”, chugging along happily, and to be fair Tomkinson handles this vocal very well. Maybe he's settling in by the fourth track and we can expect better from him. There's a suitably dirty guitar riff driving “Dirty women” with a pretty fine solo from one or the other of the Toomey brothers, no way to know which. A powerful guitar too to start off “Fallen star”, with a hint of Thin Lizzy in the opening riff which comes a little dangerously close to “Waitin' for an alibi”, if I'm honest. Supposedly one of their better songs, “Strangers on the shore” certainly starts off with a promising riff, very neoclassical, then takes off at some speed, easily their fastest track so far.
Oh, I'm wrong. It pretty quickly slows down to a sort of mid-paced march, with again that Lizzy riff showing its face and as quickly ducking down again in case someone recognises it. Well, if there is a standout on this album then this is clearly it. It strides high, standing head and shoulders above the rest of the basically mediocre fare that's gone before it. Nice bit of shredding to end it and we're into “Loser”, which hopefully is not a prophetic song. Good, grinding, growling, galloping guitars (yeah, you know I love my alliteration, dont'cha?) and the rhythm section really make this. I'm still not terribly impressed with Tony Tomkinson on the vox but he has improved somewhat since the second track, I'll give him that. He's no star in the making though.
Oh dear lord. It's like a bad flashback to a really poor seventies hard rock song. “Riding high” is exactly not that; they certainly have not saved the best for last if this is the best they can do. The singing is lacklustre, the guitars are muddy at best, the solos are pretty pedestrian (and also, again, sound familiar), and the song is about a minute too long. Well, if I'm completely honest, it's four minutes too long! We finally end this ordeal of banality with the oddly-named “Aardschok” --- no idea what it means, but I suppose it doesn't really matter. I thought it might be an instrumental, but the unwelcome growl of “Let's rock!” (really?) disabused me of that notion sadly. So the chorus is just the title repeated; maybe it's a place, or a rock festival? No, I see after a quick search it's the name of a metal magazine. Well. You learn something new every day. Like not to listen to third-rate NWOBHM bands like this again.
TRACKLISTING AND RATINGS
1. April fool
2. Haneka
3. Runaway
4. Lady lies
5. Dirty women
6. Fallen star
7. Strangers on the shore
8. Loser
9. Riding high
10. Aardschok
Rather interestingly, the Spotify playlist then runs on to another of their songs, called, wait for it, “No more chances”. Indeed. Says all you need to know really.