Late Night/Early Morning Ramblings And Thoughts From A Quite Possibly Delusional 16 Year Old Idealist Kid Who Will Probably Be Completely Incomprehensible Part 1 Out Of Who Knows Maybe Just 1
So it's 5:30 A.M and I haven't gotten a wink of sleep tonight just browsing the Internet and listening to music (currently Earl Sweatshirt because I'm head over heels in love with his music), and my thoughts have started to drift to what just makes someone's music special or if it really only matters what the person in control of the sounds thinks of them. Which brings me to the question, why do I feel the need to have people hear my work if in the end it's for me? Is it an egotistical thing? What compels me to want to promote my music, to shove it in the faces of people who most likely want nothing to do with it? I feel quite obnoxious when I release something as I try not to annoy my friends with it, but I end up trying to get them to listen anyways to their displeasure. So again what is it that makes me think that my art is worth anything anyways that people would want to hear it? It's not like I know any actual means of promotion, and I sure as hell can't find anywhere to play my music for people outside of my family who are willing participants. Then again maybe it's good to think down on what I perceive others opinions about music and to keep a personal worth stronger to my actually feelings than letting someone else judge that, my **** and anyone elses. So I guess the best I can really do is write the stuff and hope people are willing participants to the ****in show because I am genuinely suprised and honored when I hear someone say they like the things that I make. It's probably because I am so proud of it I have a lot of self-confidence in my own opinion on it, but not others which probably makes next to no sense whatsoever. I think what got me thinking about this in the first place was me listening to Trout Mask Replica tonight which has such a large divide between great and utter dog ****, so in the end how do it matter? If you like it then that's your opinion and that's amazing because it's your opinion and same goes if you hate it. Maybe that's how I think about the things I make of course I'm happy when someone likes it, but I'm not really dissapointed when someone says that it is **** because I know my opinion about it is that it's awesome or I wouldn't put it out there. I also sometimes think my age makes me less credible even in my own mind (I'm not sure about others) I'm only 16 and the popular opinion is that you have to wait until your older to make things that can be taken seriously as great music, but that's a ramble for another time.
Thanks for reading through this if you made it this far I think I needed to ramble a little bit, and what better place than my journal lol again thanks imma sleep noe or at least try to.
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