Dear everyone on my Facebook feed with kids who are having birthdays:
NOBODY. CARES. OH MY GOD. YOU BIRTHED A THING. IT'S GROWN INTO A SLIGHTLY BIGGER THING. NOBODY CARES BUT YOU. SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT THE UGLY THING.
There's no need to spam my goddamn newsfeed with your snot-nosed crotch-critters for the entire goddamn day. It's gonna happen again in another 365 days and still nobody will care but you.
__________________
You and I,
We were born to die.
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