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Originally Posted by big coffin hunter
everybody that posts in song writting sucks i think the reason is becase uve havent heard it with instraments and the person sing it i think some of these might be good if we heard them not read them
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you have just named my problem. My songs sound brilliant with the beat but without the beat they just sound a little flat. Then when I write without the beat in my head the lyrics are brilliant but the beat is awful. Overall I think the above song just scraped an average. Some of the mines were awful cliches 'youd be better off dead in my book' but I think considering you are a newbie then this is a decent first try. I've seen a lot worse.