To be honest, I was expecting you to tell us that this girl is now coming on to you, or that you're having feelings for her and wonder if it's just that you're trying to protect her/provide a harbour or if there's something there. Given that that is not the case --- your business if it is and you haven't told us --- I think you learned with your brother that no matter what you do, no matter how you point out how bad stuff is that they're doing, you can't change someone's life or even attitude unless they want to change it. But as Blaro says, getting too involved in this will threaten to drag you down, so I would say let him get on with it and see how it goes with him. If he "snaps out of it" and wants you as a friend again, fine. If not, then that's his decision. Personally, from what you've written here before I think you have/had enough stress in your life without trying to take on someone else's too.
You say he's been more or less like this all his life, so what makes you think he will change now? What age is he by the way? In any case, you can't force change so if he's not willing to listen to reason you're just going to waste your efforts and stress yourself out. In the end, callous though it may seem, I would say adopting the "your life, nothing to do with me" attitude is the sanest, and safest course.
Can I have change back from my two cents now please?
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Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
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