Exo

I've have three best friends for the last ten years. One of them moved out to California earlier this year. He has a longtime girlfriend who stayed here in NJ and waited until she saved up enough money to make the move. They made the move about three weeks ago.

She called me last night crying and saying that they were broken up. I asked why and she said that she thinks that my friend is cheating on her because she found evidence of it on Instagram and Snapchat. It was just a couple messages, nothing bad, but that she's still worried. I basically told her that he was being a jerk but that I honestly didn't think he would ever cheat on her. Before you say "bros before hoes", I've known her since 1st grade. She is a good friend of mine.

This morning she texted me saying they broke up for good. She'll be coming home in a few months. I called my friend and asked what was going on. I started by apologizing for talking to his lady behind his back. He said it's fine but that I was wrong about him. I asked why and he said that he was planning on cheating on her. In fact, he already has twice. I asked with who. He said hookers. I was shocked and he corrected himself by saying "Well, not hookers, more like happy ending massages."

A little background on my best friend. He's had a history of depression mixed with SERIOUS marijuana use since high school. I smoke weed. This kid smokes an unhealthy amount of weed. He's worked on weed farms. He has weed on him and is smoking at all hours of the day. It's how he lives. The weed smoking and the depression has led to him making very rash and regrettable decisions in the past. He and his girlfriend have broken up before and he's always regretted it. He also has adopted a very "It's my life and I'll do what I want" attitude lately. If what he's doing makes him feel good he's going to do it no matter who it hurts in the process.

So, I talked to him about these things. I didn't sugarcoat anything. I told him that I didn't agree with what he's doing. I told him that I think paying for any kind of sex, be it a handjob or hooker, is sad. I told him I don't think it's right for him to convince his girlfriend to fly across the country to be with him only to break up with her three weeks later. I think it's scummy and just not cool considering how good of a person she is. He obviously wasn't fond of me saying those things and I told him that this isn't just a matter of his girlfriend, but rather a sign that he's going down an undesirable path and that it's a path I don't like at all. Things settled down and he basically told me that he doesn't expect me to understand his lifestyle because I generally live my life with caution and careful planning. We agreed to talk about this later.

I'm lost. I don't know how to further this situation. I'm not going to try to campaign for them to get back together. I don't know the inner workings of their relationship, only they do. I do however think he's going to not only regret this decision but that he's going to suffer the effects of that regret hard. I'm worried that once he snaps out of this weird phase that he's going through that he's going to be on the other side of the country, with no friends besides his weed friends, and that he's going to be alone. On the contrary, it could be that this is how he's going to live his life and most likely do other sad and scummy sh*t in the future. I'm not going to continue to be a part of that life. My brother is a recovering heroin addict and I learned in that period that sticking close to a person who is systematically ruining their life only causes damage to your own life. I'll try to change that as much as I can but there is a limit that will be reached and I'm afraid I could lose my friend.

Is this normal? Am I being a sensitive Sally about this? Should I have just said "hey man, not my business, do what you want" to him? I'm usually good with dealing with these sorts of things but that guy is stubborn as **** and just isn't budging.

Any advice?

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