Originally Posted by Mondo Bungle

I was walking home after one of the first times I really got drunk, it was like 11 at night, and I cut through a park beside a river. I stopped for a minute to swing on the swings, because I love that ****, and I was drunk. Got off, fell into a bush I didn't see, and then heard the swings in motion again. I looked and saw that there was someone swinging. I was embarrassed for falling then got up and continued walking. After a bit, I heard someone creeping up behind me, and this girl just appeared at my side. She was silent for a second, just walking next to me, then said "You should be more careful."I laughed and said yeah. Then she stopped in front of me, features concealed by the shadows, and said, "Can you take me across the river? I've lost my way" I told her that I needed to get home and gave her directions to get around. "I want you to take me" she said. I figured it wasn't that far out of the way, so I agreed. After walking for a little bit, she asked if I was afraid of her. I said no, then she said "Would you be afraid if I squeezed your testicles until they popped?" I didn't know what to say to that, "Uh, yeah, probably." She put her hand to my chest then said "Well don't worry about that. I'm going to find a new home. Be careful tonight." Then she walked down to the riverbank and disappeared into the darkness.

Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien

There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.