That's a sad way to feel.
In certain philosophies including Buddhism and Taoism, preparing the mind for death, far from diminishing one's love of life, propogates a greater zest for life because by preparaing for death all mental baggage, be it apathy, fear, worry, whatever, is discarded. Not suggesting that's how you should feel, just offering a different perspective that may or may not help.
From what you say, it seems you've lost your sense of wonder and curiosity for life, but that doesn't mean they're gone forever. Life's a ride. We all get down sometimes. But tomorrow is a new day. We can all change when we genuinely want to. So chin up.
