My day started with a soap opera dream about my ex.. >_>
She's coming to
PR this friday and we already talked about hooking up, but it's solely about hooking up, meaning no relationship and going back to being f*ck buddies like we were in the past.
HOWEVER i keep having failed romantic nightmares about her, Nightmares were we hook up but we don't feel anything, that the chemistry we once had is gone, and this hurts me more than i like because she is the only girl in my life that i have a deep connection with.
I feel im mixing loneliness with nostalgia and love, i don't want to be her BF again but i don't want to lose her either, we've been each other's safety net for so long but now she has a BF but im single.
i fear that if we hook up again im gonna get too attached and im gonna want her back just to not be lonely so i keep having nightmares that she rejects me and they suck!!
it sucks i can't control these drama queen dreams, and the heartbreak i feel in them is VERY REAL i hope they don't come true.