I don't understand the metaphor's you are making with lines such as
Quote:
Freedom hangs off the four corners of this world
Who am I to say they don't exist
|
and
Quote:
Raid the thought cabinet
Think things through
I wanna be your ecstasy
Only to dissapoint you when correction is due.
|
but on a positive not the line "If your willing to take the fall
I'm only too happy to push" is rather witty and fits nicely.
as DontRunMeOver said, the language used is a bit bland, but there are good points to this piece. Try rewriting some passages and playing around with the words.