Originally Posted by Taxman

It seems like my friends only like me when I'm happy and joking. Now when I'm not nobody wants to be with me or even talk to me. I admit that I may be annoying but I would be happy if my friends could even talk with me seriously sometimes or something. That's what friends are for.
But no. I would like to ba like they want me to be but I feel unable. After all, I'm mildly depressed, at least I have been and I'm not over it yet and also I guess I have some kind of panic disorder or something cos I find it hard to be a part of a big group.
When I'm with a group I usually talk too much,do too much, I act like a clown or something and then I burn down. I find it hard to be myself. I'm trying to be someone else and people expect me to be someone else is really am.
Also my doctor said I got a heart disorder or something. It is because he said I'm always stressed when I'm with people so my heart beats out of time and unrhytmically and he said I would need drugs for it.
I dunno if he's gonna give me drugs for my heart of for my mind...probably I would need both.

Sorry for that, but I had to let these things out. And I have got nearly nobody to speak...but I'm trying to not post these long complaints here.