Okay, this is it. This is where I step off the precipice and fall, arms flailing, into the darkness as I open my fifth journal, but one which is totally different to anything that has come before. This is where I make a total fool of myself by selecting an album at random and trying to review it before hearing a note. I'm going to be basing my "predictions" on nothing more than instinct (yeah...) the titles and what little, if anything, I know of the artiste. It will of course be an exercise in futility. I'm not expecting to get it even slightly right one time in a hundred, and should I somehow accomplish this unlikely feat, it's surely going to be down to pure dumb luck than any great insight or talent on my part.
But that's not what this journal is about. It's not a case of "look at me! How clever I am!" Quite the reverse in fact. It's all about fun. It's about not taking myself so seriously and just kicking back to see how much of a mess I can make of these, ah, reviews. You can laugh at me, or with me, but I hope my efforts here will give you some sort of amusement. There may of course be albums I select that you already know, and so can see in advance how much I'm going to screw up, but then, that all adds to the fun, doesn't it?
These reviews will not be long, nor in-depth. They will simply be short impressions of each track, first my "psychic" one and then the real one, and the difference between the two. Maybe I'll come across some really good albums here that I will end up reviewing in full, and properly, in my main journal, who knows? But for now, let's see how I get on as I set sail on my maiden voyage to disaster and derision.
Why have I chosen this album? No idea. It looked interesting and it's obviously a debut, since the artiste and title are the same. Also, with it being this year's offering it's possible few if any of you know who this is or what they sound like. I certainly don't. But having a quick glance down the tracklist I think I can make a few hamfisted attempts at what they might sound like, all of which will no doubt turn out to be completely wrong and so far off the mark the arrow is still flying.
But as I say, it's fun, and you gotta start somewhere, so I'm starting here.
Heather Maloney --- Heather Maloney --- 2013 (Signature Sounds)
So who is Heather Maloney? Dunno. Where does she come from? Uh, dunno. Let's see if I can find out anything about her before I dive in. Okay, seems she's from the US of A. Oh, and I'm wrong. This is not her debut, but her third album. Don't you just hate when people do that? Anyway she's a singer/songwriter and being compared to the likes of Aimee Mann and Ani DiFranco. So now I know a little about her, but I'm not digging any further in case I find out something that gives me a clue as to the sort of songs she might sing. No cheating here, hombre!
So then, tracks, tracks, tracks, let's see....
1. Great impostor: okay, for some reason I hear a big brass band in this, a marching sound and a sort of carnival/soul atmosphere. Big drums, horns and maybe even fiddles and violins (yes I know they're the same instrument!) --- a bouncy, uptempo song that opens for some reason with the horn blast from Bad English's "Best of what I got". Which of course it will not.
2. Hey broken: Slow, acoustic number with just guita --- no, piano, definitely piano. A lovelorn ballad where the singer tries to help the heartbroken person in the song see the bright side.
3. Fire for you: Another uptempo number, guitar (acoustic?) and a lot of energy and passion. A love song, a declaration of love, strong and determined.
4. Dirt and stardust: Mid-paced acoustic number, most likely on guitar, maybe some mandolin too. A song about how fragile humans are, and yet how eternal: "we are all made of dirt and stardust".
5. Flutter: Soft acoustic ballad, maybe with some nature sounds in it (birdsong, soft wind, maybe babbling brook), sung gently and low-key. Title may refer to the fluttering of a heart. Another love song?
6. Iron bull: Song about the old railroad. Bouncy, strong, powerful. Lots of organ and electric guitar with a scorching electric guitar solo in the middle, or somewhere. Punchy uptempo country/folk song.
7. Turn yourself around: Another punchy song, a "get a hold of yourself" type deal, with strong acoustic guitar and maybe electric, possibly honky-tonk piano too. Could be a duet. Ah sure why not? Let's go the whole hog!
8. Miss Mary Mack: Country mid-paced, no wait, bluegrass uptempo song with tons of banjo, jews harp, fiddle and maybe pedal steel. Oh, and accordion. Got to be some accordion in it. Real toe-tapper.
9. Grace: Difficult, as the next song is also a woman's name. Gonna take a chance (sure why not?) and say the grace here is the grace of God, and so a slow, acoustic number with some haunting organ, praising the Lord in some way --- "Lord give me the grace to make it through" or somesuch. Possibly gospel overtones. Could involve a choir.
10. Darlene: Another uptempo hillbilly number. More fiddles and accordions, slap bass and maybe a piano this time as well. A good old fashioned love song, but not a ballad. Or could be about an outlaw.
11. Flying on helium: Slow, organ or keyboard-driven song with an ethereal sense of flying (duh!), kind of atmospheric and ambient, with a soft acoustic guitar solo and a piano ending.
Now, they're my not-so-educated guesses. I'm now going to play the album and see how wrong I was. That's all coming up in the next post. Stay chooned!
