Can someone devise an internet/phone thing that turns my **** off when I'm ****ed up? This is getting ridiculous, I actually convinced myself going on a date with Silly Dick Chad is a good idea only to sober up hours later and remember he's ****ing Silly Dick Chad and I'm trying to think of the nicest way possible to say that yes I may have shown you my n00dz but no, that doesn't mean I'm going to actually fuck you
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