Now, be warned: I usually just throw in a few comments about the entry, how it did and what the song was like, but this time I have a lot more to say. A lot more. And apologies to any fans of Bucks Fizz, mostly for being fans of Bucks Fizz.
The thing that annoys me most about this song is that not only was it a terrible song, with lyrics a two-year-old would blush to write, it bloody won the competition that year! And it was all, I repeat all, about the skirts. The English ABBA? I don't think so: none of these four could play a musical instrument and they certainly couldn't write. They just looked good, and on the back of this success they carved out a really successful career, to my eternal chagrin. They even had one or two decent songs. But this wasn't one of them.
Like Joe Dolce in my recent feature "The Hook", this song relied entirely on the stage show. The girls started off wearing long skirts, and then at a given signal in the lyric the two guys pulled those skirts off to reveal shorter miniskirts underneath, and the crowd went wild. There's no doubt at all in my mind that had that gimmick not been employed, Bucks Fizz would not have won the contest and more than likely would not have gone on to record more songs. It was a shameless attempt at style over substance, and it worked. Everything from the annoying fifties rock and roll tempo to the stupid dance routine and the fact that all four of them were blonde, all speaks to trying to reduce the actual song's importance in the overall performance. Mind you, it was a song that would never have won on its own merits, without the gimmicks.
I mean, listen to some of the lyric:
"If you believe a love can hit the top/ You gotta play around" --- what? What is that supposed to mean? And
"Don't let your inhibitions take you from behind" was just another chance for a cheap sexual innuendo, though not direct enough to offend the millions of families who had no doubt tuned in. As for the pivotal lines:
"Try to look as if you don't care less/ But if you want to see some [Cue skirts being pulled off] more/ Then the rules of the game will let you find/ The one you're looking for." They will? What the **** is that supposed to mean? What's the message here? Play the field but when you're ready to settle down you can find your true love? And just to reinforce that "playing around" idea, the girls constantly moved from one guy to the other, how fickle oh dear.
Yeah, a real low point in Eurovision history, and that's saying something. I suppose at least we can absolve them of the blame for writing the song: step forward, Andy Hill and John Danter, and hang your heads in shame! Still, I suppose winning is everything: certainly was in this case. Jesus, set alongside this our Dana's "All kinds of everything" is even almost forgivable!
Almost.
1981 --- United Kingdom --- "Making your mind up" by Bucks Fizz