Famed as the writers of hits for everyone from Suzi Quatro to Huey Lewis and the News, Nicki Chinn and Mike Chapman had a real eye for not only a catchy tune but also a clever lyric. Songs like "Can the can", "Ballroom blitz", "Tiger feet" and "Heart and soul" will be familiar to people of my age, and it's probably fair to say that the partnership were the Lamont/Dozier of their age, on a par with the likes of Goffin/King and perhaps even Lennon/McCartney in terms of popularity. Unlike the last pairing though Chinn and Chapman did not perform, being songwriters exclusively, and parlayed that talent successfully into a hit-making machine that yielded many number ones for the artists who were favoured by their contributions.
The song I want to look at here was made popular, famous, even infamous by seventies soft-rock band Smokie, and later parodied in night clubs across Europe. It concerns a warning on the pitfalls of waiting too long to declare your love, and the realisation that not everyone will wait forever. There's also a sly dig telling us that someone else could be waiting for the chance, and if we don't recognise that then we could be missing out.
Living next door to Alice (Smokie) 1976, from no album (amazingly) until the remastered 2007 version of "Midnight cafe"
Music and Lyrics by Nicky Chinn and Mike Chapman
For those of you who somehow have never heard the song (you on solid food yet?)
it concerns a guy who has been living beside his childhood sweetheart Alice, but though they hung out together as kids they seem to have drifted apart without his ever getting to tell her how he feels about her. He laments
"Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance/ To tell her how I feel", but knows that chance is gone now as he is told by Sally, another friend, that Alice is leaving. He goes to his window and is aghast to see a big limo pulling up into her driveway, the implication being clearly that Alice has fallen for or married some rich guy and is leaving. The guy in the song starts thinking about his childhood and wonders why he never told Alice how he felt. He's annoyed she's leaving ---
"I don't know why she's leaving /Or where she's gonna go/ Guess she has her reasons/ But I just don't wanna know."
He's angry with Alice for leaving, for not revealing that she had this other man in her life, and of course with himself for not having the guts to go up to her and tell her he loves her. As he watches despondently Sally points out that
she has always wanted him ---
"Alice is gone/ But I'm still here/ You know I've been waiting/ For twenty-four years" --- but whether he hears her, takes any notice or is interested is not clear, as the last words of the song are a despondent
"I'll never get used to not/ Living next door to Alice."
I think the song sums up very well the old adage "Faint heart ne'er won fair maid" as well as "He who hesitates is lost", and tells us that basically if we fancy someone we have got to tell them, because expecting someone to wait forever is futile and pointless. People can't read each other's minds (if they could I'd be in BIG trouble!)
and if you have feelings for a man, or woman, or a small blue furry thing from Alcatran XI, you need to tell them, because if you leave it too long they may just very well decide to move on with their lives.
Sally called when she got the word,
And she said: "I suppose you've heard about Alice".
Well I rushed to the window and I looked outside,
And I could hardly believe my eyes -
As a big limousine rolled up into Alice's drive...
Oh, I don't know why she's leaving,
Or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons,
But I just don't want to know,
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door to Alice.
Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance,
To tell her how I feel, and maybe get a second glance,
Now I've got to get used to not living next door to Alice...
We grew up together, two kids in the park,
We carved our initials, deep in the bark,
Me and Alice.
Now she walks through the door with her head held high,
Just for a moment I caught her eye,
As a big limousine pulled slowly out of Alice's drive.
Oh, I don't know why she's leaving,
Or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons,
But I just don't want to know,
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door to Alice.
Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance,
To tell her how I feel, and maybe get a second glance,
Now I gotta get used to not living next door to Alice...
And Sally called back and asked how I felt,
And she said: "I know how to help get over Alice".
She said: "Now Alice is gone, but I'm still here;
You know I've been waiting for twenty-four years..."
And the big limousine dissapeared...
I don't know why she's leaving,
Or where she's gonna go,
I guess she's got her reasons,
But I just don't want to know,
'Cos for twenty-four years I've been living next door to Alice.
Twenty-four years just waiting for a chance,
To tell her how I feel, and maybe get a second glance,
But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice...
No I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice...