As of today, I've been here a year.
I think the supreme difficulty for new members is that they may think
that they're expected to immediately begin divulging all kinds of stuff
about themselves before they're even acknowledged as simply a music-lover.
I've watched in the last year as new members (ones that aren't promoting themselves)
have become vilified and/or ignored. Some leave...some "join in the conversation" and
are "accepted," but "joining" usually means that you're expected
to go on a lot about things that have little or nothing to do with music.
I have no interest in talking about what goes in or out of various orifices,
what I do for a living, if or what I watch on TV, who I think is great and
grand on the forum, etc. If I did have these interests, they would maybe
come up later - maybe far later - after I've established a musical connection
with the folks here. I'm wondering how many others are only lurking
(or leaving altogether) because they see what happens to those who dive
right into the music talk and get very little or no response to dozens of
music posts while possibly getting all kinds of attention if they'd only,
for example, start flashing their Greta Garbos for the member picture gallery.
There's a second thing that I'm concerned about:
My first post here was a fun exchange with The Batlord.
I loved it because it was a fun, creative swap of sheer silliness
that was a play on a song title. "Great," I thought, "a fun place
about music with people who aren't so serious about themselves!"
Little did I know then that this was an exception. The level of absolute
SERIOUSNESS - I mean down and dirty, name-calling, overt
"I'm god-like and you should follow me" (and sometimes the undeserved fawning
"you should follow him in his greatness") "I don't like this, so get rid of it for everyone"
"it's the Mods fault" "get off my lawn"-level animosity is absolutely extraordinary.
It's almost as if a number of you jumped from puberty to walking with a frame.
It speaks volumes that even in this very thread about how to make this board
more inviting, a guy's perfectly worded first post (before you discovered his
previous name) was shot down because he had "nothing invested in this place."
That person could've been lurking for days. I'm sure if the "join date" was even
months earlier, he would've received the same response. If I were a lurker here for
any amount of time and saw that, you can bet I'd keep my trap shut and just move on.
I can't speak of all of the forums online, but for nearly 20 years and posts
numbering in the 5 figures, I've been on music forums where there's an
easiness, kindness and general goodwill towards members new and old -
where they don't have the feeling that they have to write a dissertation
on musicians and/or albums in order to not be "lazy" (an accusatory word
used here by people who apparently don't like asking questions...or simply observing -
thereby placing the onus on others). After a year here, if I were making a suggestion,
it would be to keep it simple without being simple-minded by not having
divisions of divisions of divisions and try to resist having so many rules
that have to be adhered to before people get a fair shake. Also, have music as
the focus, but don't get so uptight about how people have to present their ideas.
It's all workable and potentially delectable if you just politely ask.
As was wisely said here recently,
"If you want to have a discussion, have a discussion," that's all.
Rod
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