Originally Posted by Tumor

IF YOU MOTHERFUCKERS REALLY WANT SOFT SKIN, YOU SHOULD GET YOURSELF ONE OF THESE.

MOTHERFUCKING DRY BRUSH. WHAT'S IT DO? GETS RID OF YOUR NASTY ASS DEAD SKIN CELLS. FEEL YOUR SKIN. IS IT SOFTER THAN BAMBI'S BUTTCRACK? I DIDN'T THINK SO. GET A DRY BRUSH!!!
HOW DO YOU USE IT? MAN, Y'ALL ARE SLOW BUT I'M FEELING GENEROUS TODAY SO I'LL TELL YOU. FIRST TAKE YOURSELF A SHOWER. GET ALL CLEAN AND SHIT. GET YOUR SKIN SOPPIN' WET.

WHEN THAT'S DONE, TAKE THE BRUSH AND RUB IT OVER YOUR SKIN. YEAH IT HURTS BUT DON'T BE NO PUSSY. BRUSH IT OVER YA TOES ALL THE WAY UP TO YOUR NOSE AND EVERYWHERE IN BETWEEN. NOW DON'T LET YOUR BRUSH GET NASTY. IF YOU WANT SOFT SKIN YOU GOTTA DO THIS OFTEN BUT YOU DON'T WANT A GRODY TOEJAM BRUSH ALL CLOGGED UP WITH YOUR DEAD SKIN. RINSE THE THING OFF ONCE IN A WHILE!
WARNING: HAVING SOFT, GORGEOUS SKIN WILL MAKE YOU SEXY AS FUCK AND YOU WILL PROBABLY RECEIVE A CORNUCOPIA OF DICK AND/OR PUSSY IMMEDIATELY.