Quote:
Originally Posted by misspoptart
I also feel like it was my fault. I shouldn't have put either of us in that situation by going home with a drunk guy in the first place. I'm know he feels bad about it anyway, and I feel bad that he feels bad about it.
Guilt is what I feel; it's a simple as that. I'm sure there are other women who could identify with me on this.
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When I phrased the question for the thread, what I wanted to ask was really whether or not we can hold rape victims accountable for the crime done against them. The psychology of guilt for the victim didn't really enter into it, but it's an interesting aspect or point of view and one I haven't really got much experience with or considered at all, but I am aware that guilt is a common feeling for rape victims. I imagine many things will factor into it.
You probably feel that you put yourself in that situation and perhaps you feel you could've done more to prevent it. Maybe you feel guilty for not doing much about it. But what I see is simply someone committing a crime against you. It doesn't matter if you made it simple for him to commit that crime. Committing the crime is illegal and we all have a personal responsibility not to commit crimes. You can tempt someone all you like, dress however you like, be as drunk as you like. He still has to take personal responsibility for the crimes he commits. So don't carry other peoples responsibility for them - especially not when they've victimized you! You should not feel guilty.
By the way, Self-blame (being common in victims) is a topic on Wikipedia's article on
Effects and aftermath of rape. You should read it!