Pg. 24
We now begin our journey at the beginning (and yes, I am that big of a tool.) The prologue of
High Fidelity opens with the main character, Rob, listing his "desert-island, all-time, top five most memorable split ups." This is Rob in a nutshell. A self-absorbed man child who tries to give significance to everything from guitar solos to breakups by ranking them, but only ends up devaluing them by reducing them to a number, because that's the only way he can really emotionally deal with the world.
To further illustrate his hilariously narcissistic world view he is telling this to his newest ex-girlfriend, Laura, while telling her that she didn't make the list. So yeah, douche. Thankfully though, he seems to only be addressing Laura in his own head. So, only partial douche.
In the middle of number four, one Charlie Nicholson (1977-1979), who we will discuss later, Rob rattles off yet another list (though not numbered this time), this time of his favorite breakup
songs. Dude can't even talk about one breakup without reducing it to a pop culture reference. To be honest he's sort of my hero.
The Music
Well, never having been in a relationship and ergo never having broken up, I'm not quite sure that these songs will have quite the same effect that they do one Rob, who seems to be one morose, lovelorn motherf
ucker. Well, whatever the case may be...
Neil Young "Only Love Can Break Your Heart"
Dude, I've never listened to Neil Young. I'm sure some of you may be flinging poop at your computer screens, but I haven't.
I'm thinking that this song might not be the best place to start though. Sappy folk music isn't really my thing, and this isn't really changing my entire world view. I'm gonna have to go through his electric releases before I go back to this.
The Smiths "Last Night I Dreamed that Somebody Love Me"
I remember listening to the Smiths at some point a couple years ago or something and digging them.
This song didn't really connect with me at first and the intro is definitely too long, but it's slowly growing on me to an extent. That riff and the keyboards just combine to make such an overwhelmingly depressive atmosphere that I'm starting to feel a little bummed even though I was in no way bummed a second ago. Definitely not bad.
Aretha Franklin "Call Me"
All this low key, sad music is weird to listen to back-to-back for me, but it's slowly bringing me down to it's level, and I'm assuming that Aretha Franklin will deliver a great vocal performance if nothing else. Another artist that I've never really much listened to besides a song or two.
Damn. There's just something so raw and primal about her voice. Even when she's not going full tilt she sounds like she's dredging her soul. I don't know that I would listen to this on my own, but it's got me a little curious about her.
Nazareth "Love Hurts"
Even I've heard of this song even if I've never listened to the whole thing. Hell, I'm not sure if I've ever even listened to any other Nazareth song either.
Alright, this song is mildly not terrible (and I'm being generous), but the fact that I have five more of these sappy sapathons to go is beginning to annoy me. Jesus, Rob. Go out and get a cat or something.
Prefab Sprout "When Love Breaks Down"
Don't know who the hell these dudes are, but they're already annoying me. I've never felt more like a meathead metalhead more than today. Cannibal Corpse has plenty of songs about women, why can't - oh wait! That's kind of a fun riff. We might have something here...
Nah. It's better than Nazareth, but I just can't be arsed to care. Not even enough to figure out what kind of music this is. Some kind of eighties pop.
Al Green "How Can You Mend a Broken Heart"
Alright, Al Green. Never listened to him, but it's at least someone with a reputation for not sucking.
Damn it. Not really my thing. Just one more thing Barrack Obama and I don't have in common.
John Prine "Speed of the Sound of Loneliness"
Sounds like country. Sappy country. My f
ucking favorite. And seriously, "Speed of the Sound of Loneliness"? That's officially in my All-Time, Top Five Worst Song Titles Ever.
Hall and Oates "She's Gone"
Le sigh. I'm not looking forward to this.
Well, the keyboards are somehow keeping this from being painful, but other than that I'm not really getting much from this. Only one more and I can go listen to the most abrasive music I can find.
Dusty Springfield "I Just Don't Know What to Do with Myself"
The only thing that is making this not god awful is the fact that in another...one minute and thirty seconds I shall be free of this torture once and for all. Rob must be one sick motherf
ucker to be able to stand all of this, let alone choose to listen to it. Here I come, Slayer! You've never looked more beautiful than you do today!