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Old 03-23-2013, 09:11 AM   #93 (permalink)
The Batlord
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The Lay of Sigurd: Remixed Part VII b.





After the villagers had been buried Johan called the army together and spoke, "Fuck this bullshit! We left on this campaign ready to die for True Metal! Fuck! That! Shit! Now there is no fucking way that I'm gonna die before I've seen to it that every single poseur who would set foot upon this sacred land and desecrate it has tasted my fucking steel! This is no longer a last stand! This is a war of vengeance! Now let's go and kill some fucking poseurs!" When Johan had finished a great cheer rose up. "DEATH TO POSERS! DEATH TO FALSE METAL! GLORY TO THE BRAVE!" Looking over the assemblage I saw the four men who had been willing to kill each other earlier embracing. The first said, "Dude, Paranoid kicks ass!", the second, "Master of Reality is heavy as fuck, man!", the third, "Sabotage is okay!", and the fourth, "Heaven and Hell fucking rules!", and they all said, "FUCK YEAH!"

The Army of True Metal, now united and determined as never before, mounted their steeds and headed to the fortress of Wacken. After a full night and day of riding we finally came within sight of it. It was in a valley with steep sides that towered over us as we rode between them. At the end of the valley was a sheer cliff wall, and against the cliff was the fortress. A great stone wall ran from ridge to ridge and could only be attacked by frontal assault. The only way through the wall was a high, thick gate. Beyond the gate was a paved courtyard and beyond that a great tower with a view of the entire valley. When we entered the fortress there would be no escape for the only way into or out of the valley was the way that we had come in. The only way that we would be leaving this place would be by cutting our way through the poseur army that would soon be arriving. It would be a good day to die.

To Be Continued...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by J.R.R. Tolkien
There is only one bright spot and that is the growing habit of disgruntled men of dynamiting factories and power-stations; I hope that, encouraged now as ‘patriotism’, may remain a habit! But it won’t do any good, if it is not universal.
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