ThePhanastasio

I've never been on a plane, but I had a plane crash dream. Basically, my friend was going to Canada for some reason, and I was, for some reason, allowed on the plane to say goodbye to him. The plane, for all intents and purposes, seemed to have the interior of a house which flies. There were even bedrooms and stuff in it.

Anyway, he sees a stewardess walking past his bedroom with a cart, and is all, "Oh, man! I've always wanted to get something off of a cart from a stewardess! That is too cool!"

Then an announcement comes over the loudspeaker that all of the visitors need to leave the plane, so it can take off. I hugged my friend and tried to make my way to the exit, but I couldn't find one. I was wandering around this house plane, completely lost and frustrated. Finally, I ended up in the cockpit somehow, and the pilot was all, "Oh man, we're starting to takeoff right now, but if you run, you might be able to jump off before we leave the ground."

I ran, but when I got to the door, I was jolted, and knew we'd left the ground.

I went back to my friend's room on the plane, told him what happened, and he was stoked that I'd be able to hang out during the flight. It was then that I realized, with horror, that I didn't have a passport, so I was going to be FUCKED when the plane got to Canada.

Anyway, we were going along, and suddenly, hit some turbulence. The plane was bouncing around, and I was like, "Ohhh, ****. Is this normal?"

The pilot came over the loudspeaker, said, "We're going to have to make a crash landing...fasten your seatbelts."

I ran to a random row of seats that were in this house-like structure and put my seatbelt on. Then, suddenly, my range of vision was from outside the plane; I saw it skip across a few lakes like a rock before breaking in half and coming to a stop on a hillside in rural WV.

The impact was not at all realistic. It was about the jolt you get when you turn make a right turn too sharp on the road and bump the curb lightly with your wheel. No one was killed, or even injured.

We all got out of this smoking plane, and stood in the cold on this hillside with our cell phones out. I realized that I had work that day, and that I was going to get an occurrence because I was several hours late. I decided to call them, and wondered if they'd accept that I was in a major plane crash as a reason for not showing up to work.

Then, I saw NBC, ABC, and CBS helicopters circling like vultures, Matt Lauer parachuted down to interview the people in the crash...and I woke up because my damn alarm was going off.

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