A Review of Fueled By Fire's Album Cover
A few years ago, Fueled By Fire released the album,
Spread the Fire. Unfortunately. This album was everything that is wrong with the thrash revival. Third rate Exodus worship at it's worst. But all was not lost, since it has a cover that truly captures the spirit of the War On Poseurs. They may be untalented pretenders, but they are truly my brothers in arms. I suggest you all take a page from their book and wage war on the poseur menace as these True Metalheads are surely doing.
There are, of course, many ways to do this. The obvious way is to find a poseur and punch him in the face/solar plexus/ballbag, but that isn't the only way. One of my favorites is to steal a poseur's phone without them knowing, make threatening calls to the President, and then return it to them without them being any the wiser. This will be especially effective if you live in Russia. Another option is to tell him that his makeup/hipster glasses/purse/etc is six months out of fashion. This will likely send him crying into a bathroom. If you have used an especially biting remark he might even start cutting himself. Good job. Of course, you may not always be fighting an offensive war. A poseur may have made war upon you himself. You must then puff out your chest, wave your arms in the air, and jump up and down to make yourself appear bigger. This will probably intimidate him and show that you are a True Metalhead not to be trifled with. If however, this is not effective, then you must now bare your teeth and charge him. Now he will be terrified and fall to the ground feigning death. Do not be fooled. Sniff him and roll him on his back to show your dominance, and as a finishing touch, rub your scrotum up and down his forehead. Remember. The only good poseur is a teabagged poseur.
Stay metal my friends.