Top Ten Reasons Why a Metal Show Is Better than Sex
1. To have sex, you need to wear a condom. To go to a metal show, all you need is a denim vest.
2. If you tell everyone that you saw Slayer last night, people will think you're awesome. If you tell everyone that you banged some chick last time, the bitch'll set your car on fire.
3. If you see a crazy show, you have a good time. If you bang a crazy chick, you have a good time. At first.
4. Have you ever tried to crowd surf at an orgy?
5. If you give someone a black eye at a show, it's all good. If you give a girl a black eye, the cops'll arrest you and beat you down back at the precinct.
6. I've never had to throw an angry boyfriend down the stairs at a metal show.
7. Two words: child support.
8. If there's a long line at a show, it'll still be just as much fun for the last guy in line as the guy in front.
9. If Bruce Dickinson's tits are saggy, at least I don't have to feel them anyway.
10. Thirty bucks can either get you into a show, or it can get you crabs.