The Big Dog
Join Date: Apr 2011
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,989
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Many conservatives have forever condemned the notion of social media as evil. At first I dismissed such claims. Conservatives, those of us who laud such traditions as Bible Bashing, racism and Daily Mail reading have never had much in common with myself. I'm not liberal by any means, although the lines between the two once opposites are more blurred now than ever before, especially in the United Kingdom under an odd bedfellows coalition government. My opinions on different matters vary, I don't blindly follow one ideology when applying it across the board.
Sweeping generalizations and poking jest about Conservatives aside, the idea that social media is detrimental to society is starting to resonate with me.
I'm sure when Mark Zuckerberg ripped off someone else's idea for 'facebook' that he had envisioned an environment where family and friends could stay connected sharing vacuous baby photos and nonsensical nostalgia.
And yeah I'm sure this actually happens on an extremely large scale, people in general are dumb and when combined with social media take up an almost ghoul like state where conscious thought is abandoned in favour of idiocy.
What concerns me is the growing trend (pun intended) of using social media as both a battle ground and a burial site.
Taking the whole issue of 'trolling' and intentional antagonism out of the equation, there seems to be a hell of a lot of conflict in the world of social media. Individuals and groups of opposing people meet on neutral ground and trade verbal jabs in the hope of gathering 'likes' and 'retweets' whilst those not involved in the ruckus watch intently from the sidelines, silently observing and formulating their own opinions on the matter at hand.
Whether said conflict has arisen solely online or is a result of a real world altercation or issue, I find it somewhat interesting that the two opposing sides decide to bring their grievances with one another into what is in effect a snapshot into their social life.
Surely bringing a private dispute into the open in an environment such as facebook would give those whom would not usually hear of such things an impression they had not organically formed about that individual.
It can have a domino effect. Sharing personal matters whether they be of dispute, failed relationships or venting anger at everyday issues such as that 'brown' guy getting served ahead of you in the post office line will negatively impact how others perceive you.
What if potential employers are looking? What if your parents are looking? The girl you like from down the street may be looking, as might your nosy neighbours or Law enforcement.
As it is impossible to know who is viewing what, a logical mind may want to consider carefully what they share on facebook.
Yet, each day I am seeing people I used to attend school and college with, those I used to play sports with or those I have otherwise lost touch with sharing increasingly defaming things. I don't need to know that someone I have been at college with has had social services called on him as the anonymous caller was concerned with his children's welfare. What right-thinking individual would share such a demeaning personal issue on facebook?
Your children were thought to be placed in an environment so bad that social services would have to intervene. That's embarrassing. That's shocking. That's painting you as a bad parent, why on earth would you share that on facebook. Had he not, I would have never known, now I will forever hold that against his character for future. It's not as if someone else leaked that information on facebook as a form of slander, he openly uploaded it himself.
It's instances like this that have me contemplating why we live in a society where taboo subjects are spread to willingly across social media.
Would you go into a pub and announce that social services have been keeping tabs on your parenting?
Does nobody have inner voices anymore. Where is the line one has to draw when sharing titbits about themselves with their online 'friends'
These people aren't or at least shouldn't be strangers, it's different from talking about degrading, deeply emotional or highly opinionated matters on forums such as this one where we all hide behind usernames and avatars. Where we connect with people we will not encounter in everyday life, where we can paint ourselves in the image we would like to be seen.
On facebook, when you're using your true identity and interacting with people you know via the world outside of a computer screen, a certain degree of control must be applied. Think of the impact your willingness to share certain items could have before jumping right in. The damage may be irreversible.
Now, I could talk about an invasion of privacy like many Conservative's and conspiracists preach but I don't buy it. Only what you willingly share can be found out. It's not so much an invasion of privacy as it is opening yourself up to be viewed by private parties. If you're concerned with people finding out certain things about you; say you've got a deep rooted prejudice against a religious group, nobody will find out, nobody will invade this private information if you keep it private!
There seems to be this enticing draw that people have to sharing sensitive and private information with everyone on facebook. I for one don't understand it. What good can possibly come of sharing such information.
The one aspect that is sticking out like a sore thumb recently due to unfortunate circumstances is using facebook and twitter (I neglect the other social media sites as somewhat irrelevant, who actually uses MySpace in 2013?) as a memorial refuge for discussing those who have recently passed on.
Now, I'm a firm believer in allowing privacy for those affected by a recent loss. It is not my place to speculate nor offer an opinion. I don't believe in the afterlife, nor reincarnation, I honestly think the best thing you can do for someone who has passed on is either preserve them in your heart and mind through the memories you have, or if you didn't know the deceased too well or indeed not at all, to show the respect to stay out of their business and let those affected by the loss grieve.
To me, death does not constitute a free-for-all on social media to see who can post most frequently or whose posts can achieve the most attention after someone has passed.
When I have been giving the news that someone I knew has passed on, it is never my first reaction to log onto something so insignificant as social media to post about it. I prefer to maintain a respectful back seat and not go online in search of sympathy from strangers nor do I see it as an opportunity to show everyone what a heartfelt person I am by hearing of someone's passing and offering 'R.I.P x'
I find it quite disturbing how many people will crawl out of the woodwork in a selfish attempt to get over on someone's passing. Recently, a young lad the same age as my brother died in a car crash, now I don't doubt there were sincere social media posts made after his passing, in fact I know there were genuinely emotional and completely honest posts made, it's the many, many irrelevant 'I never knew you but...' posts that really frustrate me.
I remember in Primary School (Elementary for you Yanks) possibly age 6 or 7, a boy in our small schools mum had died. Now for many of us, we were too young to contemplate death, none of us knew how to handle it. Our teacher at the time said words that I have abided by throughout life, and in their simplicity make so much sense;
'if you didn't speak to (the boy in question) before, don't speak to him now'
On the surface that may seem odd, but in reality if you're mourning a loss, the last thing you need are waves of people whom you did not previously interact with offering condolences just because they feel somewhat obligated to.
The reality is, you are not obligated to. Let those affected mourn, and keep a respectful silence rather than an ignorant outpouring.
It frustrates me, it really does when there are people trying to garner social media plaudits by showing alleged concern towards the recently deceased. I question the psychology: Because you've seen others affected, you feel that you're somehow affected too and must say something to show that this tragedy somehow is of your concern also.
It is not. You're not showing respect by inanely posting about someone you didn't know in life and offering 'I didn't know you but you seemed like a great guy, R.I.P' you're invading the privacy of others.
There are also the unfortunate clichés that come with someone's passing, at least in my experiences I see the same things time and time again.
First, there will be an alleged rumour that someone is slandering the recently deceased, this will lead to angry, outraged posts with people threatening great acts of violence against unsubstantiated claims made by people who can never seemingly be tracked.
I get the impression that someone starts the ball rolling. They want to show what lengths they will go to to defend their friends passing so claim to have heard 'someone' badmouthing the deceased. To gather social media attention and to show everyone what a good pal they are, they will make threats about what will happen to these naysayers when they get their hands on them. The investigation and promises of vigilante justice may continue for a few hours before being swept under the carpet never to be heard from again.
Then there will be talk of funeral arrangements, which of the many many concerned and affected people on social media will actually play significance to the minority.
So you can be distraught on social media yet can't take the time out of your oh so busy schedule to be present at the funeral of the deceased person.
Recently, one of my old high school teachers passed on and many were upset on facebook, many of my former classmates were so visibly distraught by her passing that only a small percentage of us actually attended her funeral.
Now you can't tell me that a post on social media has replaced the more conventional method of attending a funeral as a medium of showing respect and grieving for the recently deceased, yet increasingly this seems to be the way it is.
If so, social media is breeding idleness, it's breeding falsity and it's vastly replacing the real world.
Why make the time to meet up with old friends when you can send them a facebook message, why bother asking that girl you like on a date when you can like her profile picture, why attend a funeral when you can post 'R.I.P' on facebook.
The young lad in question has seen has followers on twitter grow by around 100 people since his passing. Is this supposed to be a show of admiration for him? You didn't take the time to follow his story in life, but suddenly you're so interested in death. And what are these 100 followers going to achieve, they aren't going to be treated to any follow-up tweets. Surely they only followed in a vain attempt to show others that they appreciated the deceased in life because look: - they're following him on twitter.
People and their inabilities to handle situations like these demonstrate why social media really brings out the worst in humans.
I intend to pay my respects to the kid who has passed on by attending his funeral and not embarrassing myself on social media. Social media is the last of my concerns when paying respects. It's high time people followed my example. I'm appealing to reason here, unless that too has been swept away in the pandemic known as social media.
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