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I haven't updated in a while, sorry guys. However, I'ma get right back into it here and talk about a subject that deep down we all love to bring up.
Those albums that sucked. There's an odd delight that many of us take in rubbishing an album, perhaps as a form of retribution for the way said album had crumpled our expectations or to let out frustration about how mind numbingly **** it was.
Whilst I believe 2012 was a good year for music, I stress the term 'good' not 'great' there were some albums that were just terrible.
To quote the greatest of Presidents: 'Let's take a tally of these agitators, shall we?'

Manky ****s! The Twelve Worst Albums of 2012

12. Flying Lotus - Until The Quiet Comes

I don't get it. I just don't get. I have listened to Los Angeles 4 maybe 5 times and I still cannot recognize a melody from it. In an age where great production is expected on every hip-hop record, is there any room for someone who just makes instrumental hip-hop to make waves within the industry? Some fault genre classics like Illmatic for production qualities, so in an age where technology is at its most advanced and hip-hop at its most diverse, can I not fault Flying Lotus for just being boring? Needless to say, I find Until the Quiet Comes to be more of the same, which would be fine if I was a fan but I'm not particularly.
I think ole Fly Lo knows himself that mediocre instrumental hip-hop is just not enough to suffice in this day in age, hence the Captain Murphy experiment.
I heard a few tracks from that album and it just sounded like a producer desperately trying to cling to relevancy. Fly Lo may want to consider just laying the beats for others, because there's no doubt he's a talented producer, his beats on their own just aren't enough to cut mustard in a genre bursting with innovation and evolution.

11. MeWithoutYou - Ten Stories

So someone recommended me this band because I like Brand New. () Needless to say, they were not in the least similar....or interesting. Heck, I listened three times to this album and there just seemed to be no redeeming qualities. I don't need all ten stories to write a blurb for this album: Uninspired and lacking in anything of interest. I wish I could write more about this album, but I just don't have anything to say about it, it was like Meg Griffin's presence in Family Guy, it left no impression. Picture the never ending story with the story being an episode of Emmerdale. Not very nice.

10. Big Shug - I.M 4-EVA

Shug seems oblivious to the fact that his album title contains similar wording to another rapper with the 'Big' moniker, the much more talented and relevant Big K.R.I.T he also seems oblivious to the fact his album title actually makes no sense.
But the biggest factor Shug's oblivious to is how the hip-hop and rap industry has changed and how he has no business being in it. If one were to want a definition of below average rapping and even less inspired production they need only 'Google' Big Shug. The man with the personality of deadwood.
In 2012, Shug was little more the deadwood floating meaninglessly by and releasing this bland overly long release (seriously 8 tracks was enough, never mind 18) was just not necessary.
Every man out of ideas cliché was ridden here from the perennial 'I miss my homie' song to the never requested track about that man's offspring and the youth of today.
Hey, Big 'Slug' pay attention to the youth of today; they're telling you you're not relevant and never were. Please just stop.

9. Childish Gambino - ROYALTY

The hipster communities favourite rapper of the moment, which reminds us why hipsters should stick to choking on their Starbucks mochas and not pollute hip-hop. What is this guys appeal I will never know? What was so nauseating about this album that I instantly deleted it from my Ipod (I have a 160 GB, this just didn't deserve to take up 0.0001% of my memory. ) I can't remember, it was a while ago. I fear listening to it again just like revisiting a bad dream, in case something horrible jumps out at me. It shall just be pushed to the forgotten archives of my mind.
The irony of using such a hierarchical term as an album title is that Gambino is more alike an unfunny jester rather than the King of rap.
Yeah, I'm not a fan of his comedy either.
I remember he sampled Britney Spears and he somehow sucked Danny Brown into the abomination. For that alone I condemn this man. Similar to I.M 4EVA this packed more clichés than Arsenal's left back position on the weekly team sheet and had nothing to separate Gambino from the field. Try harder funny guy.

No. 8 Meshuggah - Koloss

This just served as another reminder that I do not connect with metal music. Many people were talking positively about this album, but for me it just contained all that I dislike about the majority of metal records I've heard: Loud, obnoxious thrashing instruments and grunty unsubstantiated growling devoid of any emotion other than trying to convey some form of masochism. Now, I thought metal and I were making a breakthrough when I heard Converge's 'All We Love We Leave Behind' but then Meshuggah just brought us back to loggerheads. It just seemed mindless apart from the few breaks from noise into shows of technical musicianship which unfortunately were too few and far between. This probably isn't the album to judge a genre by, but it's an album that I can judge as not being very good, at least in my eyes. It just seemed rushed and frantic. And I couldn't wait for it to end.

No. 7 The Bunny The Bear - The Stomach for It

A dumb band. A dumb gimmick. A dumb album. And yet I feel the dumbest for downloading and actually listening to this exercise in ridiculousness. Okay, I'll try and explain this freak show. The concept is that one of the members is a bear, usually a ferocious animal but in this group he is the sensitive 'emotional' one who exhibits the worst in post teenage retained testosterone and annoyance and the other a 'bunny'.
After this album I support my bosses decision to chop up rabbit and chuck it in his paella and can only hope that this particular 'bunny' ends up in his frying pan. Honestly, what on earth is the 'bunnies' purpose. It's as if someone off the street heard screaming in a song once and then tried and failed to recreate it by merely shouting at a microphone. Then formed a band.
I heard my brother playing a bit of one of their songs, and noticed that one of the vocalists 'the bear' had a voice similar to that of the vocalist from The Blood Brothers, I wish I had stayed and listened to 30 more seconds of the track and heard 'the bunny' take a massive **** all over the music industry with the fact he actually recorded a studio album rather than downloading an album of theirs on a whim.
It encompasses the worst in eyeline wearing wannabe 'emo' f.aggots who have daddy issues and an impatience to learn how to play instruments properly not to mention a strange obsession with throwing a messy synth over everything!
This album doesn't even retain novelty as a 'guilty pleasure' record, it's just terrible and I still don't understand why a rabbit and bear would team up to make a horrible album. Please, don't listen for your own sanity

No.6 Alt-J - An Awesome Wave

Pretentious ****ty indie being pretentious and ****. I should have known. I still listened. I have already aired my frustrations on this record. Why people like it I do not know, unless they've all been brainwashed by those malcontent's at NME magazine into believing that this record is worth the megabytes it consumes. An album devoid of artistic integrity and full of horse**** with lyrics that could rival those of either The Bunny or The Bear. The vocalist stumbles through every song trying to recreate Thom Yorke's at times minimalistic and effortless vocals by trying too hard and sounding robotic. Never have I heard more mundane or monotonic vocals outwith an Aesop Rock record.
I can't help but feel he was going for the 'cool indie guy' vibe, what he ends up sounding like is someone with respiration problems.
If anyone could present any evidence as to why this band are so popular outwith mass mind control I would like to see it. Average guitars, average drums, average musicians, poor vocalist. Not a good album.

No. 5 T.I. - Trouble Man: Heavy is the Head

T.I. has shown flashes of potential throughout his career and if he applied himself could be one of the best pop rappers around. He carries all of the characteristics to appeal to wiggers worldwide, has a good flow and voice to appeal to hip-hop fans, keeps his content based around 'street life' so as not to deter those from ghetto backgrounds from being unable to relate and has enough marketability and past success to make a considerable impact in the charts. So, why on earth he has let the momentum he had for himself a few years back rapidly diminish is anyone's guess and as one of his few defenders in the world of the Internet Music Community left me frustrated. You see, I can't really defend T.I. this time, he's just going to have to take a critical pounding if anyone still cares about him that is.
T.I. brings all his trademark material to the table here but forgets to bring with him the killer hooks and inspired production that made Paper Trail so good. Instead we get too much male posturing and too much filler. It's as if T.I. used up all his ideas on the first two tracks and recycled the same concepts over the rest of the album.
Why don't rappers understand that if you don't have enough material to fill an EP then you don't release an album with nearly 20 tracks!
The worst thing about this album is the horribly ill advised choice for guest spots. Seriously everytime I hear R Kelly singing about trying to seduce that special girl, I just envision the sick bastard urinating all over children. Ugh, why has he not had his vocals removed yet or better yet still believes he can fly and jumps off the Eiffel Tower whilst trying to impress his french love interest.
Then, Pink, y'know the alternative pop star in her youth now the bitchy divorcee who just menstruates over everything lets her monthly flow out all over a horribly screechy verse that was about 12 seconds in length and yet still had me frantically hitting fast forward.
And to top it all off Akon, remember when he was relevant? No? Neither do I. Akon ruins Elton Johns timeless 'Your Song' with one of the most unnecessary horribly auto-tuned train-wrecks of a chorus on any song I've ever heard on the track 'Wonderful Life'
Did T.I. blow his entire budget on truffles and fine wine or something? Because there was no need to bring any of those three castaways anywhere near this record. Perhaps he employs Big Shug as his talent relation adviser, because whoever brought those individuals on board is horribly out of touch with the times.
The only saving grace of this record is Andre 3000's sublime verse on the track Sorry. Honestly, it's worth suffering through the rest of this album just for that verse alone. That's what was saving this album from being even further down this list.

No.4 Sun Kil Moon - Among the Leaves

So, it appears Mr Moon is unhappy about his status in the music industry. He feels disillusioned with what he used to love because despite making good music for so long is largely under appreciated and has nothing to show for the relentless touring and song writing he has carried out.
He just wants to call it a day because he will never get the attention and accolades he probably deserves for his earlier work. He's not rich, not famous and not motivated to carry on for the minuscule thanks he gets.
Okay, I understand his position and would support him if he decided to retire from music. Who knows in years to come, he may do a Nick Drake and people may finally start giving him the respect he deserved but didn't receive when he was actually making the music.
The last thing Sun Kil Moon should have done was pass his discontentedness onto the few followers he has.
He's bored, uninspired and out of ideas so in what seems to be the trend of 2012 released an album that was painfully long and horribly unnecessary. This album almost seems like a lazy middle finger to the music industry for the way he was mistreated. But he doesn't react angrily or emotionally he just shrugs his shoulders and sighs. Never have I heard a record so devoid of effort as Among The Leaves.
Perhaps his record label insisted he make an album when he clearly didn't want to and this is the result of his half assed ethic. Still, I didn't need to be subjected to this.

No. 3 The Walkmen - Heaven

And the award for most ironic album title of the year goes to...
So, your girlfriend's finally dumped your sorry ass and after listening to this I don't blame her. A whiny, self pitying snooze fest of an album. Oh, you're so sad and feel so betrayed, well do something about it rather than wallowing in your own circumstance hoping someone will lend you a shoulder to cry on.
I hope these series of songs weren't based on real life events because if they were, someone in The Walkmen is in the running for most pathetic human being alive. It was like listening to a twelve year old hysterically grieving about the demise of their first ever week long relationship.
Instead of writing this album, why not just get another partner, you're somewhat rich and somewhat famous, I'm sure that could buy you most females.
I read somewhere that this album coincided with The Walkmen celebrating so long together without in band conflict or without succumbing to the vices that crippled bands both bigger and better than them. So perhaps gaining another partner wouldn't be that easy for this band of losers. And we can also add being boring to The Walkmen's ever growing list of positive character traits.

No.2 Flaming Lips - The Flaming Lips and Heady Fwends

Wtf? Only three letters but I feel an adequate description of this album. What this was supposed to be, I have no idea. An album in which the Flaming Lips decided to push the boundaries of how much distortion and radio static can be classed as experimental music. Bringing in a whole host of odd special guests from a variety of music fields, yet none being able to save this record from being too out there for its own good.
The only positive I can come up with is that this record is unique. But sometimes sticking to what works, y'know works.
This is just a showcase in an alternative to alternative music and in turn makes its niche market so small that the only people this album probably appeals to are those who made it. I like The Flaming Lips, but they seem content in alienating me with this record which just flat out sucked.
No doubt someone will say I just don't understand this. Well I'm not sure I want to understand this strange strange album. Strange in a Charles Manson way, not in a good way.

No.1 Big Boi - Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumours

This album ranks highest because it was the only one on this list I eagerly anticipated. It was the only one I had expectations for, the only one I didn't just listen to on that hope I would like it. I was sure I would like it. I greatly enjoyed Big Boi's first solo album and was hoping for more of the same of his ice cold delivery, catchy hooks and top rapping instead I got this crap.

Recalling how bad this album was upsets me, I feel sorry for Big Boi. I want to go to someone who can give a more concise angry take on this album, so at this time I would like to pass over to me last month upon hearing Vicious Lies and Dangerous Rumours.


Yeah, **** you Big Boi. You have won the dubious honour of creating the WORST album of the year. Comments welcome as always

MC