Ah-hoy-hoy! You are cordially invited to my 3000th post party, to take place in the sumptuous grounds of my eighteenth century mansion in the beautiful rolling hills of Wicklow. Well, that's where I'll be, at any rate: attendees are required to come no closer than 2000 yards; there are some fields around that area. You may have to share with cows and sheep, but I'm sure they won't mind. Excellent!
You should be aware there will be NO food, NO drink and definitely no party games. In fact, there will categorically be no entertainment whatsoever. Cease that infernal tootling at once! Attendance is mandatory; no excuses will be accepted. Anyone failing to turn up will be fired on Monday. Out of a cannon. Presents are required to cost no less than one thousand dollars: anyone turning up with anything cheaper than this will have his or her present thrown into the alligator pit, quite probably followed by themselves.
Party begins at 8pm sharp --- which is to say, I'll be going around jabbing you all with a sharp stick --- and finishes at 11:30 precisely! Be warned, the hounds will be released at 11:31, so if you're one of the unlucky ones who fail to leave the grounds by that time, well then I just hope you're wearing a good pair of running shoes!
So then, see you all on Saturday for a real night of fun and frolics!
Disclaimer: there will be no fun at Trollheart's party. Neither will there be frolics.
__________________
Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018
|