Loath though I am to say it, there's even a Marillion album that is in danger of being ruined by one track I consider to be below par. And no, it's not “Somewhere else”! Read on...
These are, as you probably know by now, the tracks that stand out as the usually one bad track, or less good, which can spoil your enjoyment of an album. That's not true, of course: one bad track won't make you less likely to listen to an album if you like it, but these are the tracks that tend to make you wish that they hadn't been included, that sour the overall experience of listening to an otherwise good or even great album. They're the ones that get skipped over, never included on playlists and that we wish just weren't there to detract from the overall enjoyment of the album in question. They are, the
Easy target (Heart) from “Bad animals”, 1987
I've reviewed it some time back, and I stand by what I said, that this is one of Heart's best albums (that I've heard). In fact, it was one of their most commercially successful, giving them the two major hits “Alone” and “Who will you run to”. Shame then that it's spoiled by one by-the-numbers rock song. This is it. Just zero thought put into it, I feel, and even the band sound bored singing it. I know it's certainly one I skip over whenever I play the album. The lyric is awful:
”Open season/ And you were the reason” What? They even rob the main riff from, uh, the Alan Parsons Project!
Ocean cloud (Marillion) from “Marbles”, 2004
Yeah, that's the one. If you're lucky, you may not have heard it, as it only comes on the double-CD version of Marillion's “Marbles” album, but that's the version I have, and let me tell you, it would not be worth paying the extra if it were the only other extra track. Luckily it's not, but it is almost eighteen minutes long! Now, I won't say it's a terrible song, in fact it's an epic in the vein of “This strange engine”, “Grendel” or even “Interior lulu”, but I just find it boring. Well, that's not fair: I don't find it boring, but for a song of this length I find it wanders too much and I just lose interest. Plus, the subject matter is not one close to my heart: I don't really care if someone managed to circumnavigate the world in a boat, or whatever it's about. It's okay, but I really can't stick seventeen minutes plus of it. So sorry guys, but this is one I always hop over when playing this otherwise brilliant album. A real pity, as it would be quite close to perfect without this. Pass.
Teenage idol (Gary Moore) from “Victims of the future”, 1984
Come on now, you've known for some time this was coming, haven't you? I spouted off about it during my Gary Moore anniversary tribute in February, and, well, I'm going to repeat that rant here. Well, not entirely. But although “Victims of the future” is not by any means a perfect record, this is far and away not only the worst track on it, but the worst Gary Moore song I have ever had the displeasure to hear. It's trite, generic, throwaway and just totally uninspiring. The lyric seems to carry the message that all you have to do is jack in your job and pick up a guitar and you'll be a rock idol. Unrealistic at the very least. The music leaves much to be desired too, and it really comes across to me as something Gary threw together in five minutes, not worthy of inclusion on this or any other album, not really even worthy of being a B-side. As the kids say today, I believe, epic fail.