Okay, here we are back again. Now, you don't like me, extreme metal, and I don't like you, but let's just try to get through this with as few damaged brain cells and perforated eardrums as possible, okay? Look, you don't explode my brain with airport-level loudness and I'll do my best to give you a fair and unbiased review. Is it a deal? I
said, is it a deal? Hmm, right. I'll take that grunt as a yes...
Hey ho, and away we go. Again. Maybe I'll be lucky. There are
thousands of metal bands in the world, and not all of them are classed as extreme. Maybe I'll come across one I know, or one I don't, that's more in my preferred “mainstream” metal line. Yeah, was that a pig I just saw coming out of the clouds there? No, no, obviously it wasn't, as my luck continues to be all of one kind: bad. Although the band that came up, though indeed black metal, we will not be sampling the delights of, as it seems they're unsigned and only have a demo tape. Oh, shame. Just for the record, they're called Lysbryter, and hide out in Norway, but as we're less than unlikely to be able to find anything from them, we'll just tip our hat and wave goodbye, and move on.
Okay then, next up is a band called CDO (don't ask me what it stands for) from lovely Bogota, in Colombia. They're a thrash metal outfit, but again are unsigned, have only an EP which I can't find and only one YouTube available. It doesn't help that CDO also seems to refer to a venue in Bogota (maybe that's where they got their name) and that any YT referencing CDO, either the band or the venue, is in, well, Spanish I guess, so it's hard to know which they're talking about. My head hurts, and I haven't listened to a note yet! Pass on this one too. Next!
MY HEAD IS EXPLODING! Holy sweet Jesus Christ on a unicycle going backwards down the Mersey Tunnel with two blown tyres and no lights! It's
another unsigned band, this time from Chile, though at least they're not black metal. In fact, the very opposite: they're Christian metal. But again, they only have a demo and I can't find anything on Arje, so for the first time in this section I'm passing up a
third band, and hoping it's fourth time lucky. Come onnnnn Iron Maiden!
ARRRGGGHH! No, that's not the name of the next band, though it may as well be! Another unsigned shower with a bloody demo, this time a thrash metal outfit from Hungary called Effrontery! Nothing on .. hang on. This could be something. I'm seeing a few videos... could this be enough to base a review on? They've only got the two demos, one with two tracks and one with three (if you include the one-minute inspirationally-titled “Intro”), so maybe I've enough here. What the hell, let's give it a go: I'd probably only end up with yet another unsigned, unlocatable band if I go on. Quit while ye're ahead, Troll, that's what I say!
Must admit, this is the first band, metal or otherwise, I've encountered from this country. My musical experience is not exactly what you'd call cosmopolitan, despite my intention earlier this year to seek out music from other countries and feature it. Just haven't got around to it. Hopefully I will. Yeah, I know, so is Christmas... Wonder if these guys will slant my opinion in either direction on the value or otherwise of checking out Hungarian music. I'm assuming, in this case at least, there'll be no violins or bouzokis?
(Cool logo, if nothing else!)
Right, so it's obviously to be my eternal punishment to have to listen to death or black metal for the rest of this section, however long I decide to let it run. I guess I must have done something really horrible in a past life. What can I tell you about these guys? Well, very little unfortunately, because although they do in fact have a working MySpace page, and a profile there, it's all in
Hungarian! Surprisingly, I never learned that language, and I couldn't even take a decent stab at working out what they're blathering about on the page, so all I can do is tell you that they are a four-piece who have been together since 2001, released their first demo --- insightfully titled “Demo 1” --- the following year. It has two tracks on it, while the second has three. At time of writing they're getting ready for something called “Deadshine's Halloween Hell Party”. Sounds a hoot. I shall be RSVPing my regrets.
Band name: Effrontery
Nationality: Hungarian (Budapest)
Subgenre: Death Metal (Oh GOODY!)
Born: 2001
Status: Active
Albums: None
Live albums: None
Collections/Anthologies/Boxsets: Er, none.
Lineup: Zsolt Ledeczi (Vocals)
Peter Lipak (Guitar, Vocals)
Gabor Czene (Guitar)
Zsolt Filak (Drums)
As I say, there's no album to talk of, nothing really to choose from and ordinarily that would be reason enough to move on and look for a band that has more musical (possibly using the word advisedly) output, but I could be here all night if I do that, so this is, essentially, the best of a bad bunch and my closest shot at actually writing about a band here, rather than just endless rejections and retries.
So it will more than likely be short, possibly not very informative (probably not entirely complimentary, either: we
are talking about Death Metal here, after all), but hey, that's the Meat Grinder for you! We do our best with what we have, and so it's damn the torpedoes and full ahead! Or something.
Demo 1 --- Effrontery --- 2002 (Self-released)
(No picture available)
Okay, so it kicks off with “Evil's curse”, which I've been able to track down (and wish I hadn't). Hands up all those of you who thought the vocalist would be a “death growler”? Well hah! Shows how much YOU know, cos he ... is. Yep, another one whose vocals --- should they be in English, which I'm not at all sure they are, though the title is, so maybe --- can't be made out because he just hawks and scrapes all over the mike, resulting in an unintelligible noisy babble that
Excuse me Sir, but as your legal representatives we feel it is incumbent upon us to submit this disclaimer on your behalf:
Trollheart (herein after referred to as “Trollheart”) is aware that many people enjoy “death vocals” (for some reason) and would like to make it clear that his disdain for them --- the vocals, not the people --- transmitted through the medium of this electronic weblog, is predicated purely upon his own intrinsic dislike for this type of, quote, singing, unquote. The vocalist here, and others similarly lambasted by him on other editions of “The Meat Grinder” (TM), may indeed be considered fine singers within the genre, but within the admittedly limited and strictly defined parameters of what he considers singing, this is, and shall remain, his view.
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Damn lawyers! Just let me write, will you? Pencil-pushing, bean-counting .... WHAT? YOU'RE sueing ME for defamation? Well, we'll just see about that, won't we? Just wait till I get my lawyers... ah. Yes. Good point. Settle out of court, you say? I'll set up a meeting. I SAID, I'll get your people to talk to my peop --- oh. Yeah. Right then, bank account and password okay? No, it's
not an Irish bank! How stupid do you think I am? Oh you do, do you? Well, here's a word for you: counterclaim! Yeah, you'd better run...
Sorry about that. Where was I? Oh yeah. Well, to be honest, there's not a lot to tell really. The video for “Evil's curse” ran for just over one minute, I heard some screaming, twiddly guitar, it was live and so the sound quality was, ah, questionable, and I couldn't tell you anything about the song, such as it was. All I know is it was loud and dirty. The other track on the demo is called “Nothing”, and about it I know, well, nothing. I also have nothing on it, and to be honest there's not even a running time or any lyrics on it, so it could very well not even exist, be literally nothing. But we'll never know, so we're going to have to move on to the second demo, and see if that's any better.
Flaming mud --- Effrontery --- 2005
Well, so far the most interesting thing about this band is their logo, but perhaps it gets better with a few years under the belt. This is three years later, and even at that, to date, their last recording, so you have to wonder what the boys from Budapest have been doing with themselves for seven years? Anyway, it kicks off with “Intro”, as I may have mentioned, another short little one-minuter, and again I haven't been able to find it online, but I think I can probably take a decent guess that it's not got banks of keyboards and cellos, nor a nice little acoustic guitar. You know, maybe it does, but with such a dearth of material from these guys, I'm going to go out on a limb and say it's probably a hard-riffin', headbangin' guitar solo. At any rate, the second track is called “Stormcloud chant”. It's
five minutes long, so would be the longest Effrontery song we have heard up to now. I say would be, because again their music is harder to find than a size zero model at a Weightwatchers meeting. Maybe it's for the best; I'm not sure I could take three hundred seconds of this band.
And so we have to settle for the second-longest track, the closer as it were on the demo, “Raise doubts in me”, though in fairness all it does is raise my heartrate and my blood pressure when the singer screams and then goes into another unintelligible (see above for disclaimer) rant. The guitars hammer on behind him, and the drummer seems in a world of his own. There doesn't seem to be too much connection or cohesion between the guys, and in ways they remind me of a far more tuneful and together Smeg and the Heads (for those who watch “Red Dwarf”); in fact, they make those guys sound like Emerson, Lake and Palmer! Add to the total dissonance and, well, random noise going on the fact that the video is shot with the worst possible lighting so that it looks like the place is on fire (maybe it is: maybe old Zsolt is screaming at people to get to the exits!) and you have, hands down, the absolute winner of the worst band I have yet reviewed on The Meat Grinder (TM). Yeah, they even make Sauron seem melodic!
There's nothing good I can say about this band, to use the word loosely. Even the first two got some points for at least being able to play their instruments: these guys can't even play as a unit! I have no idea what the future holds for them, but I wouldn't be clearing out any shelf space for the Grammys just yet! If you're going to the Deadshine's Halloween Horror Party, all I can say is, rather you than me.
Seriously, these guys are so bad they don't even deserve one cleaver.
So they're not getting one.
Not even half, if I did such things. Which I don't.
Somebody fetch me some double-strength painkillers!