I'd like to break with tradition, if I may, and change the format of this section this once. Normally I would select a song and talk about its lyrics, how well they're written and so on, and indeed this entry won't deviate from that makeup, but this time around I want to concentrate on not one, but two songs. Why? Well, because both of these songs are worthy of inclusion in this section, but both deal with the one tricky subject, and rather than choose between them I'd like to feature both.
What tricky subject, you ask? Well, the rather thorny and often avoided subject of suicide. Taking one's life is no laughing matter, and though the MASH theme may have advanced the theory that it's painless, that is total crap. If the person choosing to end their life is lucky, or plans correctly --- if indeed it's possible to use that phrase when talking about suicide --- the act can certainly be painless. There are a lot of ways to die that are, well, taking the easy way out. They don't have to hurt, and they don't have to be uncomfortable or long-drawn out. Not everyone who decides to end their life does so by hanging themselves, or cutting their wrists. Why would you do such a thing? Well, obviously I have no right to ask such a complex question, but it must be a terrible place to find yourself in.
But painless? What about those who are left behind? The wives/husbands, mothers/fathers, siblings, friends, anyone who was connected to the person who has killed themself. The feelings of pain, despair, grief and indeed doubt and guilt seldom if ever go away: people close to the suicidee (is that a word?) will for a very long time be asking themselves, why didn't they notice? What could they have said or done to have prevented it? Was it their fault? And of course, the mother and/or father, if still alive, will wish they could have gone in place of their child.
So painless? Give me a break. Now, I know the following songs should not be taken as any sort of a serious attempt to address the issue of suicide, and to be fair, only one of the ones featured here does. But the different ways the two songs approach the idea of ending one's life are worth noticing and talking about. One takes a very humourous, almost irreverent look at the pressures that can drive one to the ultimate step, the other describes in almost worrying detail the same thing, but each song is totally different. They were written over twenty years apart, and in totally different styles but both by bands which have leanings towards progressive rock.
Harold the barrel (Genesis) from “Nursery cryme”, 1971
Music and lyrics by Peter Gabriel, Phil Collins, Tony Banks and Mike Rutherford
In Genesis' little-regarded song from one of their seminal albums from the early seventies, Harold, a “well-known restaurant owner” who appears to be something of a henpecked husband, finally has enough of the pressures of life and runs away. When he is cornered the television news are covering the story, as he stands on the roof of a building. People for some reason seem very unsympathetic to his plight, perhaps because of what he's supposed to have done before running off ---
”Father of three, it's disgusting!/ Such a horrible thing to do!” and his mother, given her chance to talk him down, seems more concerned with the fact that his shirt is dirty and that he'll be showing her up on national television.
As a policeman then tries to talk him down, Harold envisages a life of calm and ease, which he knows he will never have, and at the end of the song it would appear he jumps, almost joyously as he grins to the copper, who has pleaded with him to come down,
”You must be joking!/ Take a running jump!” but in fact it's he who jumps, into the great unknown and towards his destiny.
The whole thing is, typically of Genesis at that time, described almost as a play, with various characters --- Harold, Mr. Plod the policeman, the Lord Mayor, Harold's mother etc. --- each having their part and with it their piece or pieces of dialogue. There's also some satire in the lyric, like where Harold allegedly cuts off his toes, it's remarked that he hasn't a leg to stand on, but later the bias of the Great British Public comes through, as someone comments that his brother was just the same and so Harold should not be trusted, as if they knew beforehand.
”A well-known Bognor restaurant-owner
Disappeared early this morning.
Last seen in a mouse-brown overcoat,
Suitably camouflaged,
They saw him catch a train.
Man-in-the-street:
"Father of three it's disgusting!"
"Such a horrible thing to do!"
Harold the Barrel cut off his toes and he served them all for tea.
"Can't go far",
"He can't go far".
"Hasn't got a leg to stand on!"
"He can't go far".
Man-on-the-spot:
I'm standing in a doorway on the main square
Tension is mounting
There's a restless crowd of angry people
Man-on-the-council:
"More than we've ever seen.
- had to tighten up security!"
Over to the scene at the town hall:
The Lord Mayor's ready to speak.
Lord Mayor:
"Man of suspicion, you can't last long,
The British Public is on our side."
British Public:
"Can't last long",
"You can't last long".
"Said you couldn't trust him, his brother was just the same"
"You can't last long".
Harold:
If I was many miles from here,
I'd be sailing in an open boat on the sea.
Instead I'm on this window ledge,
With the whole world below
Up at the window!
Look at the window...
Mr.Plod:
"We can 'elp you!"
Plod's ChorusL
"We can 'elp you!"
Mr. Plod:
"We're all your friends,
If you come on down and talk to us son."
Harold:
You must be joking!
Take a running jump!
The crowd was getting stronger
And our Harold getting weaker;
Forwards, backwards, swaying side to side:
Fearing the very worst
They called his mother to the site.
Upon the ledge beside him
His mother made a last request:
67-yr-old Mrs Barrel:
"Come off the ledge!
If your father were alive he'd be very, very, very upset.
Just can't jump, you just can't jump.
Your shirt's all dirty, there's a man here from the B.B.C.!
You just can't jump!"
Mr. Plod:
"We can 'elp you!"
Plod's Chorus:
"We can 'elp you!"
Mr. Plod:
"We're all your friends, if you come on down
and talk to us Harry."
Harold:
You must be joking!
Take a running jump......”
So that's “Harold the barrel”, and Genesis' own humourous and lighthearted take on suicide. Of course, you could argue that it was disrespectful, that they were trivialising the act, but no doubt Collins or Gabriel would have laughed at you and said “it's only a story!” Such it is, more something out of a carry-on movie or something than anything expected to reflect real life, though there is a dark subtext in there: people are often not so forgiving of those who commit suicide, and often in the crowds that gather there are more than a few who wish, whether they express the desire or not, that the person would jump.
Alan Parsons, on the other hand, tackled the subject in a far more sombre and realistic way, when he wrote his first solo album, away from the Alan Parsons Project. Released in 1993, “Try anything once” ends with the song “Oh life! (There must be more)” which chronicles the sad story of a woman who has reached the end of her rope, and is ready to end it all. Unlike Genesis' Harold, we're not given any information in the song as to what specifically has led her to this unhappy state, as Parsons, and fellow songwriter David Pack, tend to concentrate more on the thoughts going through her head as she gazes upon what must surely be her last morning:
”The city lights shine seaward/Swirling in a trance/Her eyes upon the water/Alone in her last dance.”
Whereas “Harold the barrel” is a humourous fiction though, “Oh life” is based on true events, on the story of a woman who drove her car off a pier with her children inside, which somehow makes this even more poignant, and yet paints her as a little selfish: kill yourself if you must, it's your life. But I feel it's unfair for anyone to visit such a decision upon anyone else, especially their children. Without knowing the full story though I suppose it's unfair to judge, though her mental state is alluded to when Pack, taking the vocal as well as co-writing credit for the song, sings
”She hears the voices/Turn into a roar” and it would seem she has come to a decision. Her plaintive cry, the title of the song, can certainly be taken as something that many people who contemplate, if not actually carry out, suicide, must think: is this all there is? Is there nothing left for me? Nothing to look forward to?
It's a sobering thought.
Oh life! (There must be more) (Alan Parsons) from “Try anything once”, 1993
Music and lyrics by Alan Parsons and David Pack
Waves roll out, out to sea;
Tasting the saltwater tears upon her cheek.
Morning breaks: she's not there.
Who could ever find her?
Who would even care?
No-one heard, no-one came.
No angel of mercy appears to know her name.
Where is hope when words fail?
All the colours running inside when life turns pale.
In the dock the boats are harboured
Where the water's cold and still.
Oh life, she cries, I've lost the will.
From the bridge she sees a lifetime
Being washed upon the shore.
Oh life, she cries
There must be more...
Tides roll in, waters rise;
Any chance of reason only clouds her eyes.
Arms of grace she won't feel;
All the wounds inside her that time can never heal.
The city lights shine seaward swirling in a trance:
Her eyes upon the water alone in her last dance.
From the docks the boats are leaving
As she cries into the dawn:
"Oh life, I'm barely holding on!"
And she sees her future falling
Til it finds the ocean floor.
Oh life, she cries
There must be more!
There must be more!
And with the early light
She'll sail into the clear.
The winds are all behind her:
The hour is almost here.
From the bridge she hears the voices
Turn into a roar.
Oh life, she cries,
There must be more!
On the dock her soul is sinking
But her spirit longs to soar.
Oh life, she cries
There must be more!
There must be more!
There must be more!
Oh life I'm barely holding on.
There must be more!
There must be more!
Oh life, there must be something more!
Two songs as I say which approach the issue of suicide two very different ways, and certainly in me elicit two very different reactions. Genesis' song I can laugh at, perhaps feel annoyed at the townspeople for their mob mentality, his mother for her selfishness, and maybe even feel relief for Harold that he's slipped the bonds of earth and left all his troubles behind him. Alan Parsons' on the other hand, just makes me tear up every time I hear it: the first time I did it was like someone had punched me in the stomach, and coming as it does at the end of the album just adds to its effectiveness.
An example, then, of how a subject universally seen as if not quite taboo then usually avoided by musicians (possibly because it can be too close to home, with so many legends of the music biz taking their own lives down the years) can be treated two totally separate ways, and yet still manage to get across the intrinsic message, that life is precious and there should at the end be some hope, something we can look forward to, a reason to go on living.