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Flyingpig437 · 04-29-2012, 04:11 PM

This thread gave me something to do tonight a/w. read it or don't I don't give a **** do I...am ****in' cool about it ha ha ha

1. John Lennon. He founded the band that defined the defeat of social conservatism that could have us still in its fevered grip. Plus among othr things he had a weird brilliant lovely/horrible unique singing voice, wrote several timless classics....only several mind...wrote a lot more very good songs, took a lot of drugs and fell hopelessly in love with a woman most other guys wouldn't have given a second glance because of who she was rather than how she looked and that was despite the fact he could have had anyone he wanted…inc. Linda who wanted him but had to settle for Macca.
2. Jimi Hendrix-Indescribably superior guitarist
3. Richard Nixon-The only U.S Pres bad ass enough to have to have been got rid of by his own country who were obviously far more scared of him than that countries enemies with whom he had started making friends, and was so utterly wonderfully cool that he once used the occasion of attending a banquet in his honour hosted by the People’s Republic of China in the Great Hall of the People’s Republic to intimidate the attendant powerful members of the People’s bureaucracy by telling them he would be ‘mindful’ of the People’s republic ‘interests’ thereby using the banquet held in his honur to insinuate he could just as easily act against the people’s republic of China’s interest. When was the last time you, simply for your own amusement, deliberately intimidated the ruthless rulers of a billion people while they were feeding you the finest food they could get their hands on?
4. James Joyce-Passed off incredebly straightforward book as ssome kinda work of epic genius-only really on list for writing in aforementioned book that the great flood was a 'tyranical incontinence'. So high for being possibly one of only 3 people on the list who I am 100% certain wasn’t/Isn’t a god botherer.
5. Christine Barnett-Girl I went to school with who is uniquely beautiful and cool enough to reply to some ridiculously ott emails I sent her on Friends reunited. She hasn’t accepted my Facebook friends though
6. Ludwig Wittgenstein-Solved all philosophical problems…TWICE!!!!!
7. Paul McCartney-Did heaps of great and entertaining things but has only ever done one truly cool thing… Bringing in the tapes the Beatles used for the Musique concrete background for John Lennon’s crap song Tomorrow never knows turning it from a crap song into something incredible that will still sound like it was made 10,000 years in the future 10,000 years in the future.
8. Spike Milligan-Spent 99% of his career writing utter tripe and the other 1% writing the most inspired and wonderfully creative comedy the world has ever or will know. Also publicly called Prince Charles a ‘grovelling little bastard’.
9. Elizabeth Taylor. World class nympho and timeless beauty who got called an ‘erotic vagrant’ by the pope at the height of the Cleopatra affair with Burton, which she was conducting under the popes nose. Also around the same time she said ‘America hates me and I hate America’. I wonder what where her American social conservative critics stuck that!

10. Bill Gates-Delivered unto us the greatest technological revolution in the history of the world and even more cooly just when I wanted it
11. Margaret Thatcher-Massively…immensely loses cool points for being a social conservative and a vile warmongering whore but she wasted Marxist socialism as a credible political force in my country and for that I will forgive her A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G
12. Homer. Created the worlds first fiction 4,000 yrs. Ago. Extremely cool for the fact in the intervening 4,000 yrs. No one’s managed to create anything better.
13. Stuart Sutcliffe because if he hadn’t have died he’d have been John Lennon’s best friend and because he did die has become a very intriguing figure in the Beatles story
14. Quentin Crisp-For being more super-mega-ultra ‘out’ than anyone else had ever been before at a time when it was not only profoundly uncool but also freekin’ dangerous as hell
15. Alexi Sale. Just sorta looks cool don’t he? ½ working class man in the street ½ arty creative genius type. Gains points for being cool despite never really having done anything very impressive
16. Buzz Aldrin. He’s ****in’ Buzz Aldrin. How ****in’ cool is that. Armstrong has no idea whatsoever about being cool…the ****in pope’s cooler than him which just goes to show how much of a #coolfail he is
17. Craig Scanlon
18. David Bowie-Played all the David Bowies on every David Bowie album
19. Yasser Arafat-Highly charismatic hyper-active Egyptian political figure who despite spending decades right slap-bang in the middle of the most intense, vituperative, volatile, long lasting and dangerous political dispute the world has ever known remained more easy-going than anyone else who’s ever lived. Bizarre! Loses marks for being a god botherer. (Yasser means easy-going btw.)
20. Simon Wiesenthal-Classical levels of moral integrity and sacrificed his life to a good cause with some kick-ass results. Loses marks for being a god botherer, I’m guessing a/w.
21. Richard Burton,The actor- for being the most handsome man who’s ever lived and probably therefore the worlds greatest ever babe magnet. He was described by a movie director as ‘the world’s greatest loser’ This is because to be a a great loser you have to seem to be the complete opposite which is what Burton did seem to be. May his tortured soul R.I.P
22. Keith Moon-1/2 man ½ drum kit
23. Alan Turing. I’ve no concept whatsoever of anything he ever did or wrote but he’s obviously important to the development of computers and got ****ed-over by the conservatism of modern policalal mores n ****.
24. Che Guvara. Just beatig out Bob Marley as the ultimate bedroom poster icon. He’s on here grudgingly. Can’t ****in’ stand the guy.
25. Fiona Butler
26. Philip K.Dick-Brilliantly made sci-fi more fi than sci- Loses marks for being a god botherer…at points If not throughout his life
27. Rembrandt-Finest painter the world has ever known. Loses marks for being a god botherer
28. The first person to conceive or realise language
29. The entire rest of the female half of the human race outside of the ones named individually on here inc. sicko’s like Myra Hindley and Rose West
30. Clinton. Gains points for almost certainly faking being a god bother and for being what I call the optimum politican or having the potential to be the optimum politician if we didn’t live in such a ****in’ ridiculously conservative world where a guy getting his dick sucked bizzarely can nearly result in the downfall of a fine albeit slighty too ruthless at times politician…I’m talking about that mentally ill guy Clinton fried to appeal to conservative when 1st running for President.
31. Obama. Loses marks for being a god botherer. Possibly the most charismatic person on the list and that seriously is saying something. Charismatic to the world in general I mean…not to me. (see next entry)
32. Helen who works in the library of a much derided northen English town who I proposed to last year. She’s cool for never wearing make-up, never wearing a skirt or dress…well not to work a/w and for being the most ineffably cute thing in the known universe despite being kinda goofy and ugly looking and for being but for a slight mis-queue on behalf of the stars my uber-soul mate. Obviously loses marks for refusing to marry me.
33. Alfred Hitchcock. Watching his movies creates an experience outside of the artform itself. (I know what I mean anyway)
34. Mike Batt for ripping off JoHn Cages tedious idea to dictate that 4.33 of silence is music and then getting sued over it giving me one of the best laughs of the best 10 yrs.
35. Cpt. Beefheart-Bullied a bunch of musicians into creating a musical version of cubism and then took all the credit for it. Loses marks for pathetically obviously ripping off Howlin’ wolf’s vocal style
36. Sherlock Holmes…well y’know…
37. Stuart Copeland for going on tour with Sting is a **** written on his drum kit
38. Prince Charles. Hate the guy but I’ve seen footage of him reacting to an obvious assassin in the crowd very cooly.
39. Roger Waters. Wrote the sublime lyrics on the greatest album ever made…well my favourite
40. Pete Best. Just imagine meeting him!!!!
41. John Terry-Twice, rightly. appointed twice, wrongly, removed as England football cpt. and because after being red carded for trying to get away with assaulting a Barcelona player in a massive match had it said of him ‘not for the first time his behaviour had people wondering just what goes on in his head’
42. Mick Hucknall. Cool for being uncool but obviously being far far far happier than his many many many haters all of whom must think that they’re cooler than him and are unaware that the only places where it actually matters that they’re cooler than him is in those peoples heads. Also apologising to all the women he’d ever slept with is if not cool then at least profoundly funny
43. Nelson Mandela-Crap terrorist but beautiful soul
44. My prostitute friend Cheryl who’s cool because the Doncaster emergency services now refuse to come and help her anymore when a member of the public rings them up to tell them they’ve found her slumped on the pavement in one of her heroin induced coma’s. I love you Cheryl XXX
45. The dancer who’s dancing on her own at the start of the Black Eyed peas I’ve got a feeling. She might actually be the least cool person who’s ever lived but she’s just managed to brake through my cynicsm, my misanthropy and my utter hatred of dancing so I’ll give her respect for that.
46. Ed Wood jr-Miracullously made films that were made against incredible odds. Not only was it a miracle they got made because they were so bad but it was a miracle they got made because their subject matter was so quirky.
47. Ian Curtis. Talked the talk…then hung himself.
48. S*****
49. Colin Joyce.
50. Me- because I once stole Colin Joyce’s shampoo in the prison showers ‘cause he’d welched on paying up on a bet he lost to me.

Emillio Escobarr-

04-29-2012, 04:11 PM	#179 (permalink)
Flyingpig437 Music Addict Join Date: Mar 2010 Posts: 534	This thread gave me something to do tonight a/w. read it or don't I don't give a ** do I...am in' cool about it ha ha ha 1. John Lennon. He founded the band that defined the defeat of social conservatism that could have us still in its fevered grip. Plus among othr things he had a weird brilliant lovely/horrible unique singing voice, wrote several timless classics....only several mind...wrote a lot more very good songs, took a lot of drugs and fell hopelessly in love with a woman most other guys wouldn't have given a second glance because of who she was rather than how she looked and that was despite the fact he could have had anyone he wanted…inc. Linda who wanted him but had to settle for Macca. 2. Jimi Hendrix-Indescribably superior guitarist 3. Richard Nixon-The only U.S Pres bad ass enough to have to have been got rid of by his own country who were obviously far more scared of him than that countries enemies with whom he had started making friends, and was so utterly wonderfully cool that he once used the occasion of attending a banquet in his honour hosted by the People’s Republic of China in the Great Hall of the People’s Republic to intimidate the attendant powerful members of the People’s bureaucracy by telling them he would be ‘mindful’ of the People’s republic ‘interests’ thereby using the banquet held in his honur to insinuate he could just as easily act against the people’s republic of China’s interest. When was the last time you, simply for your own amusement, deliberately intimidated the ruthless rulers of a billion people while they were feeding you the finest food they could get their hands on? 4. James Joyce-Passed off incredebly straightforward book as ssome kinda work of epic genius-only really on list for writing in aforementioned book that the great flood was a 'tyranical incontinence'. So high for being possibly one of only 3 people on the list who I am 100% certain wasn’t/Isn’t a god botherer. 5. Christine Barnett-Girl I went to school with who is uniquely beautiful and cool enough to reply to some ridiculously ott emails I sent her on Friends reunited. She hasn’t accepted my Facebook friends though 6. Ludwig Wittgenstein-Solved all philosophical problems…TWICE!!!!! 7. Paul McCartney-Did heaps of great and entertaining things but has only ever done one truly cool thing… Bringing in the tapes the Beatles used for the Musique concrete background for John Lennon’s crap song Tomorrow never knows turning it from a crap song into something incredible that will still sound like it was made 10,000 years in the future 10,000 years in the future. 8. Spike Milligan-Spent 99% of his career writing utter tripe and the other 1% writing the most inspired and wonderfully creative comedy the world has ever or will know. Also publicly called Prince Charles a ‘grovelling little bastard’. 9. Elizabeth Taylor. World class nympho and timeless beauty who got called an ‘erotic vagrant’ by the pope at the height of the Cleopatra affair with Burton, which she was conducting under the popes nose. Also around the same time she said ‘America hates me and I hate America’. I wonder what where her American social conservative critics stuck that! 10. Bill Gates-Delivered unto us the greatest technological revolution in the history of the world and even more cooly just when I wanted it 11. Margaret Thatcher-Massively…immensely loses cool points for being a social conservative and a vile warmongering whore but she wasted Marxist socialism as a credible political force in my country and for that I will forgive her A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G 12. Homer. Created the worlds first fiction 4,000 yrs. Ago. Extremely cool for the fact in the intervening 4,000 yrs. No one’s managed to create anything better. 13. Stuart Sutcliffe because if he hadn’t have died he’d have been John Lennon’s best friend and because he did die has become a very intriguing figure in the Beatles story 14. Quentin Crisp-For being more super-mega-ultra ‘out’ than anyone else had ever been before at a time when it was not only profoundly uncool but also freekin’ dangerous as hell 15. Alexi Sale. Just sorta looks cool don’t he? ½ working class man in the street ½ arty creative genius type. Gains points for being cool despite never really having done anything very impressive 16. Buzz Aldrin. He’s in’ Buzz Aldrin. How in’ cool is that. Armstrong has no idea whatsoever about being cool…the in pope’s cooler than him which just goes to show how much of a #coolfail he is 17. Craig Scanlon 18. David Bowie-Played all the David Bowies on every David Bowie album 19. Yasser Arafat-Highly charismatic hyper-active Egyptian political figure who despite spending decades right slap-bang in the middle of the most intense, vituperative, volatile, long lasting and dangerous political dispute the world has ever known remained more easy-going than anyone else who’s ever lived. Bizarre! Loses marks for being a god botherer. (Yasser means easy-going btw.) 20. Simon Wiesenthal-Classical levels of moral integrity and sacrificed his life to a good cause with some kick-ass results. Loses marks for being a god botherer, I’m guessing a/w. 21. Richard Burton,The actor- for being the most handsome man who’s ever lived and probably therefore the worlds greatest ever babe magnet. He was described by a movie director as ‘the world’s greatest loser’ This is because to be a a great loser you have to seem to be the complete opposite which is what Burton did seem to be. May his tortured soul R.I.P 22. Keith Moon-1/2 man ½ drum kit 23. Alan Turing. I’ve no concept whatsoever of anything he ever did or wrote but he’s obviously important to the development of computers and got ed-over by the conservatism of modern policalal mores n . 24. Che Guvara. Just beatig out Bob Marley as the ultimate bedroom poster icon. He’s on here grudgingly. Can’t in’ stand the guy. 25. Fiona Butler 26. Philip K.Dick-Brilliantly made sci-fi more fi than sci- Loses marks for being a god botherer…at points If not throughout his life 27. Rembrandt-Finest painter the world has ever known. Loses marks for being a god botherer 28. The first person to conceive or realise language 29. The entire rest of the female half of the human race outside of the ones named individually on here inc. sicko’s like Myra Hindley and Rose West 30. Clinton. Gains points for almost certainly faking being a god bother and for being what I call the optimum politican or having the potential to be the optimum politician if we didn’t live in such a in’ ridiculously conservative world where a guy getting his dick sucked bizzarely can nearly result in the downfall of a fine albeit slighty too ruthless at times politician…I’m talking about that mentally ill guy Clinton fried to appeal to conservative when 1st running for President. 31. Obama. Loses marks for being a god botherer. Possibly the most charismatic person on the list and that seriously is saying something. Charismatic to the world in general I mean…not to me. (see next entry) 32. Helen who works in the library of a much derided northen English town who I proposed to last year. She’s cool for never wearing make-up, never wearing a skirt or dress…well not to work a/w and for being the most ineffably cute thing in the known universe despite being kinda goofy and ugly looking and for being but for a slight mis-queue on behalf of the stars my uber-soul mate. Obviously loses marks for refusing to marry me. 33. Alfred Hitchcock. Watching his movies creates an experience outside of the artform itself. (I know what I mean anyway) 34. Mike Batt for ripping off JoHn Cages tedious idea to dictate that 4.33 of silence is music and then getting sued over it giving me one of the best laughs of the best 10 yrs. 35. Cpt. Beefheart-Bullied a bunch of musicians into creating a musical version of cubism and then took all the credit for it. Loses marks for pathetically obviously ripping off Howlin’ wolf’s vocal style 36. Sherlock Holmes…well y’know… 37. Stuart Copeland for going on tour with Sting is a written on his drum kit 38. Prince Charles. Hate the guy but I’ve seen footage of him reacting to an obvious assassin in the crowd very cooly. 39. Roger Waters. Wrote the sublime lyrics on the greatest album ever made…well my favourite 40. Pete Best. Just imagine meeting him!!!! 41. John Terry-Twice, rightly. appointed twice, wrongly, removed as England football cpt. and because after being red carded for trying to get away with assaulting a Barcelona player in a massive match had it said of him ‘not for the first time his behaviour had people wondering just what goes on in his head’ 42. Mick Hucknall. Cool for being uncool but obviously being far far far happier than his many many many haters all of whom must think that they’re cooler than him and are unaware that the only places where it actually matters that they’re cooler than him is in those peoples heads. Also apologising to all the women he’d ever slept with is if not cool then at least profoundly funny 43. Nelson Mandela-Crap terrorist but beautiful soul 44. My prostitute friend Cheryl who’s cool because the Doncaster emergency services now refuse to come and help her anymore when a member of the public rings them up to tell them they’ve found her slumped on the pavement in one of her heroin induced coma’s. I love you Cheryl XXX 45. The dancer who’s dancing on her own at the start of the Black Eyed peas I’ve got a feeling. She might actually be the least cool person who’s ever lived but she’s just managed to brake through my cynicsm, my misanthropy and my utter hatred of dancing so I’ll give her respect for that. 46. Ed Wood jr-Miracullously made films that were made against incredible odds. Not only was it a miracle they got made because they were so bad but it was a miracle they got made because their subject matter was so quirky. 47. Ian Curtis. Talked the talk…then hung himself. 48. S*** 49. Colin Joyce. 50. Me- because I once stole Colin Joyce’s shampoo in the prison showers ‘cause he’d welched on paying up on a bet he lost to me. Emillio Escobarr- __________________ Proper music for proper people!!!