mr dave

… Like I used to before.

Trans Am is one of the ‘original’ post rock bands that emerged in the late 90s in the wake of more experimental groups like Tortoise and Slint with a fair amount of Krautrock influence throughout. This particular track is from their 5th full length (Red Line). The only other thing I’ve known about the band is that they’re from the Washington DC area, but I’m getting ahead of myself.

So back to the crazies…

As Spring progressed into Summer there were more and more phone calls to the point where we’d chat then talk on the phone for a few hours every night before bed. The line between personal and professional didn’t get blurred; it got completely scribbled over and ignored. In retrospect it makes me wonder how much loneliness is a factor towards making foolish interpersonal decisions.

Regardless, at the time I was still incredibly naïve and immature, difference now is that I can recognize it rather than thinking everyone else is stupid. We made our plans to meet. I wasn’t completely dumb, I did press for proof of authenticity in regards to some of her claims, like her association with particular universities. I received formal looking notarized documentation on the proper letterheads so I didn’t think more about it.

As the actual visit drew nearer I think we both started getting cold feet. I started pushing more on the angle that I was going there for ‘professional’ reasons, as a matter of assisting her with research for her thesis. She got defensive thinking I was trying to dump her. That should have been a red flag but I’d just write her off as unfocused and needing my help to get her work done. I wasn’t open or honest about much of anything in regards to my so called relationship with this person with any friends or family until about a week before I was supposed to take off.

I didn’t tell my mom until about 2 days prior to leaving, for obvious reasons she didn’t like the idea. The next evening I got a call from a gentleman identifying himself as the president of one of the universities LawLady claimed to be associated with to explain his concerns to me about this matter. Mainly because he wasn’t able to find a record of her association with his school and none of her methods were standard practices. Regardless, I stood my ground, I think deep down I wanted to make this decision for myself on my own, I didn’t want to be told or advised by ‘grown ups’ on this matter like I was some dumb kid, especially not for something about the internet, I mean really, how would those old farts actually even be able to get it? Did I mention I was stupid?

So anyway, next day I get on the plane. This is all pre-9/11 so I didn’t need a passport or much of anything besides just showing up with a printout of a receipt for the ticket and maybe a photo ID and I was off. I spotted her as soon as I stepped off. She didn’t quite look as I expected, something was just a little off, but I justified it as her sending old photos, another flag I ignored. She also always told me she drove a green Toyota Celica, a friend of mine had actually bought a new Celica that year as well. First he told me – that car isn’t available in green. She then claimed a custom paint job, fine. Though, once we stepped out of the airport, there was no green Celica in sight, but there was a stretch limo. Ummmm k.

I’m not one for ostentatious displays of material wealth. I’ve never been one for flashy stuff. That part of myself has never really changed for as long as I can remember and it’s an attitude I’ve always been rather clear with. I’m very much a function over fashion kind of guy, so having to step in the limo raised a flag I couldn’t ignore anymore. Especially once LawLady started pointing out all sorts of various historical landmarks and factual tidbits about the area like she was a tour guide (what SillyGurl had been studying) instead of a psychologist working towards their Masters degree. I remember sitting in the back of that limo and making the choice to play dumb rather than address some of the red flags even I couldn’t deny anymore.

We made it to the hotel without incident, I got checked in, and then we did some interviews which she taped on cassette. At that point things seemed to be going back to ‘normal’, at least until she got a call from her brother late in the afternoon while we were getting ready to head out for food. I couldn’t make out any specifics but he was FLIPPING OUT HARD, like I’ve never heard so much screaming and hollering coming out of the side of a phone before or since. She explained it as him being overly dramatic about their shared phone bill because she was staying at his place for a few weeks while hers was getting renovated.

So we got through that first day, 2nd day started as more of the same then I got a phone call after lunch by these two guys who identified themselves as former police (detective and sergeant) and current university security guys. They’d been investigating this matter as a direct request from the Prez of their institution so they were likely heads of security. Anyway, neither of them could find tangible proof and requested that I check in with them once a day, just leave a message saying “Yeah, this is Dave, it’s today and everything is cool.” Next day, more of the same, made sure to call in, then it was time for the midweek break from all the interviews and for the trek down to DC for an overnight stay.

So I check out on the 4th morning of this trip, and we take off for DC. I had a giant music nerd moment on that train trip when I noticed the transit map featuring coloured lines showing the various routes around the DC area and a particular Red Line, that also ended at a spot called ‘Shady Grove’ not unlike a particular closing track on a particular album. Even nuttier was re-listening to that track and realizing it was a bunch of samples recorded from within a train car exactly like the one I was on (same station announcements etc.) with the drummer doing his best impression of the sound of the train starting and stopping between the stations.

Once we got to DC we checked out all the cool stuff at the National Mall like the Smithsonian and Museum of Natural History, as well as a lot of other stuff but those two were amazing. I highly recommend both, along with everything else available at the National Mall to anyone who gets the opportunity to visit. Then we headed to our hotel downtown, had a meal, and got ready for Air.

They were beyond awesome; Sebatien Tellier was the opening act and set the mood nicely. I remember being amazed at the amount of free sampler cds people were trying to give away to patrons outside the venue and LawLady giving me derisive attitude for accepting a bunch. Whatever, my friends appreciated the free collections of random tunes once I got back.

I did not call in.

The next day when we got back to Baltimore we ended up at some Chinese takeout place and while we were waiting for our food she checked her messages for the first time in two days. I didn’t hear what was said, but she got a weird look on her face then forced her phone into my hand and MADE me call my mom and leave a message. No waiting to get to the hotel or nothing, RIGHT NOW. Apparently Mama Dave doesn’t mince words when she thinks her baby is in danger. In retrospect where she did manage to get the president of a rather large university to call me directly, I don’t think it’s beyond reason to consider the probability she’d made contact with the FBI or other security agencies. Again this is all pre-9/11 so it’s not like there were terror watch lists, crossing the border for something like this was still just considered dumb instead of suspicious.

So I call my mom and leave a message, I also check back in with the university security guys and leave my voice mail check with an apology for missing the previous day. At that point our day was ultimately shot, we’d gotten back from DC late that afternoon, she was frazzled by whatever phone messages she had and we made arrangements to meet the next morning to continue with interviews and start wrapping up the research.
Next morning, I get up, shower, do my regular thing and get ready for the specified hour. She doesn’t show up. An hour or so goes by and then I get a phone call. She asks me to check out of my front window and to tell me what I can see. Nothing. At least nothing out of the ordinary to me, there’s a parking lot, and a street, and a McDs across the way and a couple of cars in that parking lot too. Except they were parked behind a big tree and I could only see the front corners of the police car and university security truck that had apparently been parked there all morning staring at my hotel window.

About 20 minutes later I get a knock at the door; Police officer and two older dudes. They proceed to identify themselves as the university guys and establish decades of experience and ask me to prove my identity and safety. At this point there’s no more denying the red flags. I explain my perspective and version of the events, they explain in turn that they don’t actually care about anything specific regarding the people involved; it’s all about serving a Cease and Desist order to protect the integrity of the university’s reputation in case any details about this now obvious shenanigan went public.

It sounds cheesy as hell but after we confronted her with proof of deception on the phone she came clean and we all met up at McDonald’s for cheeseburgers (I swear to Christ this line is 100% truth hahaha). She confessed and apologized for misleading me and agreed to the C&D action. I must say the security guys were top notch, they could have been teasing and ridiculing my situation to no end, they could have just walked away once she signed the order but they didn’t, they honestly helped me out and got in contact with the airport to help bump my flight home ahead a couple of days, they even drove me to the airport after the McMeal. Mind you they also had a good laugh about how fast she was flying along an adjacent highway to get there first. She insisted on paying the transfer fee for my flight since everything was technically her fault. I shouldn’t have even acknowledged her but it was easier to let her do it than confront. I didn’t hug her on the way back but I made the mistake of looking over my shoulder when I left the terminal. It’s not that I wanted to get one last look, it’s that I ALWAYS look over my shoulder on the way out of anywhere to make sure I didn’t forget anything.

I know I promised a car chase last time. I didn’t realize how much typing was involved with this craziness.

It’s not over.

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i am the universe