Unlike others, I actually read this pathetic monstrosity from top to bottom and it's the most ridiculous, nonsensical thing I've ever had the misfortune of wasting my time with.
OP, you need to get a life, did you ever actually meet this girl, you loser? No, you're convinced you fell in love with someone you messaged a few times online.
Do you know what sunlight is?
And, as for the whole suicide thing, it makes no sense, how could she send you the email of her killing herself months after she had done it?
What you need to do mate, is seek professional help and maybe one day, whilst highly sedated you can enter the world I like to call reality.
You're obviously a warped basket case.