Right, last time I gave my own home country a good pasting, (and it deserved it!) so now it's time to point the finger of derision at our cousins across the water. Yes, England, I'm looking at you! Although, like Ireland, the UK has won the Eurovision several times (sometimes even with good songs, well good in the context of the Eurovision!), they have had their fair share of cringeworthy songs, and this is one of them.
It wouldn't be so bad if you guys had not already entered --- and won with --- “Puppet on a string” a few years previous, but this effort from Clodagh Rogers (sounds like an Irish name! Oh no!) is basically just a shameful ripoff/rewrite of that song, right down to the pretty girl singing it. It's also an annoyingly bouncy, happy song, and where have we heard that before? 1967? Sandie Shaw? Still, at least as someone pointed out in the comments, she has great legs!
Hey, consider yourselves lucky I'm not featuring the Brotherhood of Man! Though, come to think of it (makes note)...
1971 --- United Kingdom --- “Jack in the box” by Clodagh Rogers