I cannot have conversations with sober people (namely family members) when I'm way stoned.
I forgot my money at my mom's one day, and needed to grab it to pick up some weed. I was paranoid, and thought that if I went into my mom's to grab my money, she'd know I was going to use it to buy weed. It was around 10:30pm, and I noticed I'd also forgotten my sunglasses, so I grabbed them and the money, and acted like I just came home to get my shades.
My mom was like, "Uh, why do you need sunglasses at night?" and I turned around really slow, completely panicked, and then almost shouted at her, "I sometimes like to wear them!" and walked out of the house really awkwardly.
I think she knew something was up.
I also can't be seen in public when I've been smoking headies. My friend decided his eyes were too red to go into the store, so he sent me in to pay for gas. I got to the door of the gas station after walking all the way across the parking lot, and realized both of my hands had something in them. I looked down and realized that was because I'd been walking across the parking lot with my purse held out like a shield in front of me.