At this point, I think I should state that the reason I felt comfortable writing this post is that I've relaxed a great deal on MB in the last few months, my mother's treatment went off without a hitch, and she's looking like she's in full health and going to stay that way. My mother is my sole living family member, and eliminating that shadow of doubt, and the world of responsibility that came to me while she was away receiving radiation seems to have eased my mind considerably. I hope it shows through.
@Salami: Never hesitate to give me back whatever I dish out if you believe I deserve it!
@ Mojo: Neil, you have been the most supportive person here from day one, and I'm very grateful to you for it. If it weren't for you and Dali, I wouldn't have been given the chance to give back to the site as I try to do, much as I can.
I only told about three people when my mother fell ill. I've always hated sympathy. I don't like to be felt sorry for. The words that most people have to say in a situation where someone has fallen ill, or passed away (situations I'm familiar with) seem patronizing and unrealistic.
I've always preferred "It's going to be hard, but it will get easier" to "they're in a better place now" or "I'm so sorry for your loss" to the point where I fear hearing the latter. My mother is the same as I am, so we kept it to ourselves mostly. I suppose we've grown used to that over the years.
@Trollheart: That is a world of responsibility that would make Atlas tremble, and I thank you for relating it.
I typically operate on the assumption that my writing goes unread, and then I place less pressure on myself and write more naturally, and am pleasantly surprised to find that it is read after all! You can tell all of the places in this journal where I forced myself to write for others; reviews that are underfed and repetitive, or formulaic and uninspired, and one of the changes I hope to make for the coming year is to not force myself to write until I feel I have the words to say.
I'm often envious of your work, Trollheart! I'm a concise individual and often have little to say, and I always wish that my words were as free-flowing and plentiful as yours are on a day-to-day basis. I can't imagine being able to put the same quality and commitment into my journal as you do yours, and I want you to know it hasn't gone unnoticed.
I find that (and perhaps it came with a change in the times) Music Banter tends to be forgiving of one's awful taste if a person can remain open minded. Everyone here loves to share, and a willingness to learn, adapt, and adopt new ideas can redeem anybody. An open mind is the single most valuable trait a person can have, I believe.