(Disclaimer: anyone under 30 years old will not get the following reference...)
Who loves ya, baby? Everyone, apparently. Although surely one of the worst choices for a cover version ever, Telly Savalas' version of David Gates' “If” reached number one, higher in fact than the original version by Gates' own band, Bread! But here's the kicker: Savalas' version was
spoken, not sung!
Now, I love “If”. It's a great, great love song and one of my favourites, and it has been covered many times. The version by TV's “Kojak”, Telly Savalas, was in fact the first time I heard the song, and so I was completely blown away when I heard Bread's version, and realised it could be
sung! Retrospectively, Savalas' version is
terrible: he sounds bored, half asleep, and reading from a cue card. There's no emotion in the song (such as it can be called a song), and though the instrumentation is great, it does a huge disservice to a major classic love song.
I can only assume that with “Kojak” popular on TV around the mid-seventies, people bought this as a novelty record, wondering if he could sing. On the basis of this cover version, no he can't, or if he can, he doesn't here.
Anyway, here are the two versions, original first. Make up your own mind as to whether or not Kojak committed a crime...