Dotoar

This is one disjointed piece of... no, I'm not gonna go that far but it's certainly not a highlight in the vast KC discography. First of all I'll have to give it a onethousandandoneth listen in order to even be able to write about it which speaks volumes about its memorability (even if that's not a primary criterion when talking about the Crimson King). Having gotten past the memory block I'll give it that "Cirkus" is fairly decent in terms of mood and probably my favourite track on the album, but thereafter the fun all falls apart, as does the music.

First of all, Gordon Haskell can't sing for s h i t, and noone will ever be able to convince me otherwise. Second of all, "Indoor games" AND "Happy family" are both piss-poor rewrites of the far superior "Cat food" from the previous album, one crappier than the other. Especially "Happy family" stinks like nothing else in the KC catalogue, sounding like an accidental recording of a truckload of instruments tumbling down a staircase. And where is Fripp? It's like his sole purpose on the album was to lend the studio keys to the others (and possibly ordering them to sound like retards being granted access to the local music school classroom for a day) and nothing more.

The closing title track at least begins on a clean note but not even all the king's Jon Andersons will be able to save it at the end of the day. The childish melody at the beginning sounds like a poor Yes parody at best and the subsequent passage that aims at being 'grand' doesn't do anything noteworthy either. Then come the trumpets, and trumpets generally piss me off so of course they had to make them hold court on here. And when it dies down that mother-copulator Haskell puts forth some inaudible vocals again, and I ask myself: Why? And why oh why does it continue with some deconstructed "Schizoid man"-put-on played at half speed? Fripp, take back those keys and throw these idiots out of the studio! (Thankfully he did thereafter).

So yes, I realize I am gonna go that far after all; It is little more than one disjointed piece of poorly digested feces, with all the amateurish playing that pretends to account for higher art. This may be the worst KC album ever made and one of the most obvious examples of artistic integrity gone bananas. And the fact that it's released by one of my otherwise favourite prog bands only adds to the embarassment.

So if you're new to King Crimson: Beware! Do NOT make this your first listen or you will be forever put off and probably end up spending the rest of your life a Green Day devotee (and make the world a slightly more unhealthy place).

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