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Old 05-04-2010, 11:31 AM   #71 (permalink)
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Question

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sljslj View Post
Thank you very much, Jody. I don't get alot of people leaving replys here and I certainly don't get alot of positive comments. Altho Conan stops by from time to time to criticize, it's mostly just me here. Anyway, I'm glad ou like it.
Keep on keepin' on jody.
You're welcome Sljslj. James is right don't be discouraged. People will look, even if they don't take the time to leave a comment. Be glad for the negative comments. Those are the ones that help you build caricature into the song. (jody Quote) "Be glad. Not mad" I like Conan! I think he should be in the "Movies" Im Singing>>Their gonna put Conan in the movies, their gonna make a big star out of him. He'll play the part, but he won't need rehursin, and all he's gotta do is.......??? "I gotta get outa here. I'm loosin my mind.

(jody Quote) Write what's in your heart, not just your mind.

See ya nest time,
jodyWayne

Last edited by jodyWayne; 05-04-2010 at 11:34 AM. Reason: spelling - I suck at spelling
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Old 05-04-2010, 06:18 PM   #72 (permalink)
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Alrite got three new ones today, I'm trying something a little out of the ordinary with each of these. Here's the first:

IT HAPPENS EVERY DAY

*it is obviously in need of a bridge, but I can't figure out where or what more needs to be said. Anyway. I think it's good*


It happens, every day.

A little boy, not quite six years old.
He sleeps on the floor, in the cold.
Because Momma can't pay the bills.
And Daddy don't do ****, but pop pills.*
There ain't no one left to help them.
Ain't on one to tell them...
This isn't right.

This isn't right.
Clear as black and white.
This isn't right.
But it happens every day.

An ancient woman.
Once she was the hottest piece of ass.
Using her body to make some cash.
But now she's got these brittle bones of glass.
And hair like a Golden Age medusa.
She's almost out of time for excuses. *the last syllable in "excuses" is pronounced with an "uh" sound to rhyme better.*
She knows this all too well.
She knows she's going to hell.


This isn't right.
This life like a firefight.
This isn't right.
But it happens every day.

A drug-addicted prick.
For meds, he fakes like he's sick.
Starves his child, the ignorant ****.
No one will ever make him pay.
Uses everyone and gets away.
Pretty ****ed up, right?
But it happens every night.
And every day


Some don't know what's right.
Clear as black and white.
This isn't right.
But it happens every day.

Last edited by Sljslj; 05-04-2010 at 06:25 PM. Reason: Cuz I do what I want.
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Old 05-04-2010, 06:22 PM   #73 (permalink)
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WE CAN'T LOSE


Come with me.
Let us walk this line between...
Ignorance and truth.
If we do not play, we cannot lose.
Just you and me.

We can place the foundation here.
Although, alone, the walls do not stand.
So I will hold them with my own hands.
It is my hope that you will join me.

Come.
Come with me.
Let us walk this line between...
Ignorance and truth.
If we do not play, we cannot lose.
Just you and me.

I will not ask you for eternity.
Just for this moment and maybe the next.
As war wages in the east and peace rises in the west.
We will separate ourselves from the rest.

Come.
Come with me.
Let us walk this line between...
Ignorance and truth.
If we don't play, we cannot lose.
Just you and me, we cannot lose.
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Old 05-04-2010, 06:29 PM   #74 (permalink)
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BLOOD ON OUR PAWS (WOLVES)

Do we really want another war without a cause?
Fueling the idea that we're just a nation of animals, blood on our paws.
What's the purpose of these mistakes if we don't learn from them?
I can't come to admit that maybe we are like wolves.
Maybe we are wolves.
From the youth to the old.
Maybe we are wolves.

My childhood was torn away from me.
As I saw the evils man can produce.
And constantly, I watched the good guys lose.
I want to believe in humanity.
But all I've seen from them is insanity.

Do we really want another war?
Shaking us to the core.
Fueling the idea that we're just a nation of animals, say **** the poor.
What's the purpose of screwing up if we don't learn from it?
And I still won't admit that maybe we are like wolves.
Maybe we are wolves.
Lower class blood sold.
Maybe we are wolves.

We've got to find the will to retaliate.
But it seems in ten years, we'll be here again.
This is how it is, terror times eleven.
I hope the dead really do fade to heaven.
This is how it is, terror times eleven.
I hope the dead really do fade to heaven.
But I doubt it.

Maybe, just maybe, we are wolves.
With blood on our paws, maybe we are wolves.
Done sailing on denial, we are wolves.
Done failing with a smile, we are wolves.
With blood on our paws, we are wolves.
Digging in those claws, we are wolves.
With blood on our paws, we are wolves.
Digging in those claws, we are wolves.
With blood....*
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Old 05-07-2010, 09:01 AM   #75 (permalink)
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Not sure what it's missing, but it's not quite finished.

TELEPATHS AND SAVAGES.

Grenades pins and devastating sins.
Fighting a battle that no one wins.
They start an argument in which they don't take part.
To steer us away from the simple reality.

Telepaths and savages running the world governments.
Twisting your mind, conditioning you for their game.
Watching from afar as pieces fall into their place of permanance.
It's time to take a stand, take back our land.
A government of the people, for the people.
Not of telepaths and savages.

Machine guns and an exploding sun.
Depending on the only thing keeping us undone.
A brain corrupted by lies like cocaine.
And a heart with an IV it does not need.

Telepaths and savages making every crucial decision.*
Twisting your mind, conditioning you for their game.
Not all the crooks are locked up, some of them run the prison.
It's time take a stand, take back our land.
A government of the people, for the people.
Not of telepaths and savages.
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Old 05-10-2010, 09:46 PM   #76 (permalink)
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BIO-ILLOGICAL.
War!
Mutually assured destruction.
Senate-approved mass reduction.
New cold war, set aflame.
Like never before, untame.

It's bio-illogical.
Bio-illogical.
War!

That deadly acid rain of nukes.
Leaving you with nothing...*
But a mushroom-shaped headstone.
No time, no call to arms.
No more, no more arms to call.
Off it's axis, Earth will fall.

It's bio-illogical.
Bio-illogical.
War!

This is biological war.
Rename California, the nuclear shore.
This is bio-illogical.
So surreal, survival improbable.

Bio... Illogical.
Bio... Illogical.
Bio... Illogical.
Bio... Illogical.
War!

Mutually assured destruction.
Senate-approved mass reduction.
New cold war, set aflame.
Like never before, untame.

No time, no call to arms.
No more, no more arms to call.
Off it's axis, Earth will fall.

It's bio-illogical war!
War!
War!
War!
(etc... fade out)
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Old 05-12-2010, 08:05 PM   #77 (permalink)
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GIVE A ****

You can put angel wings on the antichrist.
But it doesn't make him holy.
You can wear a mask and change your clothes.
But you are still a backstabber.

You can't be the ocean and a pirate.
You can't be an aircraft and the pilot.
You know you can't be a lover and a fighter.
You can't be that black horse of war and the rider.
Are you the rider?
In control?
You're losing control.

Give a ****.
Don't give a ****.
Don't push your luck.
You stupid ****.
Get yourself stuck.
You don't give a ****.
You can do so much.
If you just give a...

Find yourself walking a fine line.
Find yourself relying on time...
Hoping the clock doesn't start again.
Cause every action has a reaction.
If you kill, believe me you will be killed.
If you lie again, you will lie forever...
6 feet under.
In control?
You're losing control.

Give a ****.
Don't give a ****.
Don't push your luck.
You stupid ****.
Get yourself stuck.
You don't give a ****.
You can do so much.
If you just give a...

Even if you got a million to give...
You don't.
Even when you've got no more time to live...
You don't give a ****.
You don't give a ****.
And lightning's struck...
All around you.
And lightning's struck...
A thousand times.
But still you don't give a...
No, you don't give a...
If you would just give a...
****!

You can put angel wings on the antichrist.
But it doesn't make him holy.
You can wear a mask and change your clothes.
But you're still a backstabber.

You can't be the big blue and a pirate.
You can't be an aircraft and the pilot.
(you're losing control)
You know you can't be a lover and a fighter.
You can't be that black horse of war and the rider.
(you're losing control)
There's nothing you can do.
You... don't... give... a...

Last edited by Sljslj; 05-14-2010 at 08:11 AM.
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Old 05-13-2010, 05:46 PM   #78 (permalink)
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SPECTREALITY (THE FAMILY GHOST)

*very slow, light music. Spooky keyboard, cymbal-heavy drums, and three or four low bass notes throughout.*
This place of beauty, this home.
The grass is green.
Trees tower endlessly across...
The 666 acres that lay before you.
The beginning of a new life.
Take a look inside...

*Open E from lead guitar, heavy riff begins*
Terror like no other.
Not lifting a finger,
But tearing you up...
All the same and all the sane...
Parts abandoned, all that remains...
Is the family ghost.

She was born into tyranny.
Died without a right to see...
Anything past the closet door.
And when the house went up in flames.
There was nothing she could do.
But wait for the transformation...
From reality to spectreality.
To her it's all the same and all the sane...
Parts abandoned, all that remains...
Is the family ghost.

Don't ever abuse your power.
Cause spirits are born every hour.
They will never hurt you, oh no.
They let you hurt you.
Desensitizing and corrupting your brain.
Supervising your journey into their world.
They let you hurt you.
They make you hurt you.
But I guess, in the end, it's all the same and all the sane...
Parts abandoned, all that remains...
Is the family ghost.
Is you.

****in terror, like nothing...
Nothing else you know.
They don't lift a single transparent finger.
Yet they tear you up...
All the same.

*very slow, light music, like the beginning*
Don't get me wrong, it is still a place of beauty.
But such beauty cannot be appreciated from this side...
Of the supernatural two-way mirror.
This is the beginning of a new life.
Take a look inside...
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Old 05-13-2010, 06:27 PM   #79 (permalink)
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All these lyrics read beautifully, I wonder if the lyrics still sound as powerful with all the instrumentation behind it.
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Old 05-14-2010, 01:57 PM   #80 (permalink)
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the ghost song you posted has some potential. In my opinion the meter,flow,content structure is all over the place. I'd suggest going back and cutting away at this song and get rid of the dead parts to bring out the gem in this song.
jmo
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I don't want to change the world. I just want to make the world colder then the day I came.
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