Sljslj

Can you please elaborate on what you mean when you say my lyrics are self serving?
Also, thank you for your criticism.

Go!Love

No prob!

It's obvious a lot of what you right is out of frustration or outright anger. And with the exception of your "Nature" lyric, every set of lyrics you've posted here, sees yourself telling other people that they are worthless and would be better off taking your advice. Which is usually along the lines of rebellion and other what not.

I found that when I wrote lyrics like this back in high school, it was usually because it felt as though I had no control of anything and writing about things I was angry about made me feel as if I had control. That's why your lyrics are self-serving. There is honestly no intent to your words, other then to make yourself feel better.

And, hear me out, that isn't such a terrible thing. Bear in mind, however, that 1. The "Emo" tag line will come to you quickly and that isn't necessarily a positive thing. And 2. Music that is considered self serving will generally not relate well to other people and these lyrics are generally looked down upon.

Sljslj

Believe me, I don't write to make myself feel better, but I understand where you're coming from. I know my songs come from anger, I knew that from the second they came to my mind. If I were to become successful from this style of writing, I wouldn't be the first (i.e. Drowning Pool, Slipknot). I get what you're saying about people seeing it as emo though. Also, I think some people (not everybody; probably not even the majority) could relate to the things I write. Thank you.

Sljslj

NO MORE SHAME, NEVER THE SAME
This is not the way life is supposed to be and you know it.
You've grown complacent, learned to shut out the ****.
But the torment persists.
You've got to fight before there's nothing to fight for.
It's not too late to be heard.

Technically speaking, you are a man.
So man up.
Or you'll go down again.
Come out of that shell.
Hiding from your antagonist is worse than living in hell.
Don't make excuses.
You can die trying or die crying.
So don't let them bring the hammer down on you.

You show them your fire.
They all flee like rats.
Ressurect yourself.
Redeem with no strategy, no stealth.
The opressers drop where they stand.
No more living in shame.
No more, you'll never be the same.

You finally stepped up.
Power is always in demand, but you've got more than enough.
It's your time to cause fear.
And the place is right here.
Seems there's no limitations.
In your path, you see only jubilation.

You show them your fire.
They all flee like rats.
Ressurect yourself.
Redeem with no strategy, no stealth.
Drive the opressors out of your land.
No more living in shame.
No more, you'll never be the same.

So you've really made a name for yourself.
Put yourself on top and made sure there was no one else.
But every empire reaches it's peak.
And even gods become weak.
The circle of life comes around once again.
Sorry buddy, but this is the end.

You see the fire.
And you flee like a rat.
Protect yourself.
Rewind with no strategy, no stealth.
Atleast you don't have to live in shame.
No, you'll never be the same.*

Sljslj

ALMOST SUICIDE (THIS IS OUR ANIMAL)
The creature arises.
Nearly human, but something is different.
The accumulation of our ignorance fuels the*unearthly monster.
The last thing you ever see is a grand sight.
We cannot, cannot win this fight.

This is our animal.
Once a tool, a puppet.
Control is no longer an option.
We took it too far to stop it.
The belly of the beast is never full.
Forged of lost hope, of unforeseen consequences.
This is our animal.
What it brings us is almost suicide.

What's there to do?
The revolution is afoot.
Evolutions door sealed shut.
There is no future for us.
Why did we unlock the shackles?
We neglected to notice an incoming black hole.
We cannot, cannot save our souls.

Mutant.
Defying evolution.
Illusion.
Mustn't be real.
We're losing.
Out of solutions.
We're stupid.
This shouldve been anticipated.

(music slows down here)
Self-control is the key life.
Don't ignore intuition, don't be afraid of instinct.
Self-control is the key to life.
Don't ignore intuition, don't be afraid of instinct.
Self control is the key to life.
Avoid a death that's almost suicide.
Aaaaaaah!
Oh!

This is our animal, mother ****ers.
Our tool, our puppet.
We have to make control possible.
Nothing else may stop it.
We've almost lost hope cause of these unforeseen consequences.
Almost lost hope, accepted this death.
Almost lost hope, almost suicide.
But this is our animal.
Don't lose hope.
Please don't ever lose hope.
This is our animal.
This death that's almost suicide is avoidable.
This is our animal.
*

someonecompletelyrandom

You've a lot of untamed aggression that I feel blinds your songwriting. This is something a lot of young songwriters deal with. I feel like you are so angered by the topic you write about, or so want to be taken seriously that the mechanics of the lines themselves are sacraficed. It also cripples any chances you have to be witty or sarcastic about something that you dissaprove of because you're so darn mad at it.

I'm not saying emotion and passion in your songwriting isn't important. From the amount of emotion of seen in your lyrics thus far I can see you're very passionate, but you let that emotion blind you and overrtake every song.

I would just suggest relaxing a bit and try working some fun, witty or sarcastic stuff into them lines. You can achieve that nihilistic sound (and indeed amplify it) if you sacrafice a bit of your blind emotion for a clear head. Think about why you are writing this in clear terms. You have to understand it for it to come accross to your audience effectively. I know i've often written songs just to vent, but it's something that you may want to stay away from.

That said - very entertaining lyrics and I look forward to more.

Sljslj

Well let me say first that I've no intention of being witty, although I feel what you're saying. I like what what you said about sacrificing emotion for a clear head, that really speaks to me. Thank you for reading my **** and trying to help me out.

Sljslj

DAMN RIGHT

Damn right I'm angry.
In my position you would be.
Damn right I'm hateful.
My hate keeps me whole.
Damn right I'm shameless.
All I need is me and I'm reckless.

Sorry I'm not conventional.
Sorry my actions are intentional.
I'm not like them, the machines.
Taking orders, wired to please.
Being controlled with ease.

How can they live that way?
Live by what others say.
How can they?
How can they?

And you're damn right I'm angry.
In my position you would be.
Damn right I'm hateful.
Hate is what keeps me whole.
Damn right I'm shameless
All I need is me and I'm reckless.

I'm so sick of living among zombies.
So sick of justifying myself.
I will not ever be like them.
Rebellion is who I am.
I refuse to live a lie.

How can they live that way.
Live by what others say.
How can they?
How can they?

And you're damn right I'm angry.
Angry at death, angry at life.
Angry at the wild eyes, trying to tear me apart.
Angry at the black lies, been ****ing me up since the start.
Damn right I'm angry.
Damn right I'm angry.

Sorry I'm not conventional.
Sorry my actions are intentional.
I'm not like them, the machines.
Taking orders, wired to please.
Being controlled with ease.

How can they live that way?
Live by what others say.
How can they?
How can they?

And your damn right I'm angry.
In my position you would be.
Damn right I'm hateful.
Hate is what keeps me whole.
Damn right I'm shameless.
All I need is me and I'm reckless.
You're damn right.*

Sljslj

APATHY.
I see a million people, faces I once knew.
Emotion has left their eyes.
From their soul to the outside.
They are unified only by apathy.

This is the new order.
The world we will soon come to know.
There is no love, no hate, no fear.
There is only apathy.
Seems so perfect, so serene.
When feelings won't blind my judgement.
Apathy.

I see an empty steeple, not too far away.
A great man has died on this day.
But who gives a damn?
Everyone goes about there business.
Bussiness equals basic instinct.
All you need is to keep your heart beating.

This is the new order.
The world we will soon come to know.
There is no love, no hate, no fear.
There is only apathy.
Seems so perfect, so serene.
When feelings won't blind my judgement.
Apathy.

Oh ****.
This is not serenity, this is not perfection.
To*just*tune out the population.
Feelings can blind your judgement, but in their absence you relinquish yourself.*
Apathy is not for me.

Go ahead and live your life, pretending you know bliss.
One day soon you will learn to live with affection and care,
Or you will learn anger and fear.

This is the new order.
The world we will soon cone to know. Oh...
There is no love, no hate, no fear.
There is only apathy.
Seems so perfect, so serene.
When feelings won't blind my judgement.

Isn't it funny?
I can no longer find it in me to care about the careless.
I could say the tables have turned,*but*they*haven't.
Not really, not yet.
This is apathy.

Sljslj

WHAT A BITCH.

Run away when your feeling get hurt.
You got no drive, no intention to assert.
Look like a man, but you're still a boy.
Societys little toy.
Stop crying when you lose.
Stop this senseless self-abuse.
What a bitch.

What a bitch.
Know nothing of standing your ground.
You're a bitch.
Know not what to do when anxiety is found.
What a bitch.

Go work your nine-to-five.
The only reason you're alive.
Keep your head down when the supervisors are near.
Give*'em*what*they want, to see you cowering in fear.
Makes you wonder why you're even here.
What a bitch.
What a bitch.

What a bitch.
Know nothing of standing your ground.
You're a bitch.
Know not what to do when anxiety is found.
What a bitch.

Leave your cubicle, five o'clock.
Right after you suck the bosses ****.
Go home to your wife, a bigger bitch than you.
She's cheating, but of course you haven't a clue.
If you did, what would you do?
I'll tell ya, I think you'd just...

(This part is sung very fast in comparison to the rest of the song and in monotone, except for "What a bitch")

Run away when you're feeling get hurt.
You got no drive, no intention to assert.
Look like a man, but you're still a boy.
Societys little toy.
Stop crying when you lose.
Stop this senseless self-abuse.
What a bitch.
Go work your nine-to-five.
The only reason you're alive.
Keep your head down when the supervisors are near.
Give 'em what they want, to see you cowering in fear.
Makes you wonder why you're even here.
What a bitch.
Leave your cubicle, five o'clock.
Right after you suck the bosses ****.
Go home to your wife, a bigger bitch than you.
She's cheating, but of course you haven't a clue.
If you did what you do?
I'll tell ya, I think you'd just run away.