Dear Chula, [advice column]

Chula Vista · 01-17-2015, 10:07 PM

Dear Rick,

Completely amused,
Chula

ladyislingering · 01-17-2015, 10:09 PM

Dear Chula,

I had too much fun with that one.

Love,
Lady.

GuD · 01-18-2015, 04:34 AM

Dear Chula

I feel like I am four people simultaneausly right now. In about 5 and a half hours I'm supposed to be all tarted up and ready for work.

I passed out in front of said work during the baker's-shift and one of them drove me home and promised not to tell

Anyways wjat do you do when you can;t stop yourself from compleely destoryifn yosuahskjrlf and yousss sosrta wanna get help but getting help is hella scary because bad drugs they make you take ick ick ick stomach ache anywyas why do i feel like i'm lightyears behind where i'm su[[osed to be for my age. i mean, is it all relative? what if, in 25 years, im sitting at my computre with a cherished animal in my lap and all i can muster is weird conversations with people i doknt know on the internet. also why do cats have buttholes. also i can;t stop thinking about humping a particular coworker and i feel really ashamed about myself because i cant seem to be trusted around attractive human beings cuz the dick gets hard you see. I wanna fukk, errybody. ya see. errybuddy. errehbuddeh. errbudd
erbudddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddddd

buttholes

nana nannaananana naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nananannanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

GIMME DUH DRUGDS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKAY
GIMMEH

The Batlord · 01-18-2015, 04:49 AM

I seriously am waiting with bated breath for Chula's response.

Chula Vista · 01-18-2015, 09:16 AM

Dear Dude,

100% Serious.

Seek out some help.

You seem to be at the crossroads and have only two choices.

I hope you make the right one.

PM anytime me if you want to chat.

Concerned,
Chula

ladyislingering · 02-01-2015, 11:26 PM

Dear Chula,

Recently I threw a birthday party. All my friends (including my boyfriend) showed up to the event.

We were having a lovely time, playing all my records and dancing.

Until Judy showed up. God, I hate Judy.

Well, Judy ended up seducing my boyfriend.

They walked out together. She was wearing his ring.

What should I do?

*******UPDATE***********

My boyfriend - Johnny - saw me dancing with another guy and punched him square in the face! I guess he really does care for me. He let ol' Judy down in a hurry.

mfw I'm Lesley Gore, and it's my party and I'll cry if I want to.

Cry, you stupid bitch!!!!

Chula Vista · 02-02-2015, 12:02 PM

Dear Lil,

Basking in the afterglow............

(Patriots Superbowl)

Chula

The Batlord · 02-15-2015, 06:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WhateverDude

Dear CV,

When I was young I was being surveilled for mild autism, is that the the kind of thing you bring up on a first date? Like, all nonchalant about it... "Yeah so... right of the bat just gonna nail this out in the open- when I was a kid I had to talk to therapists because my family thought I was retarded. We never fully followed through with it though so.... yeah, you might be dating a retard."

Dear retard,

NO!

Yours respectfully,

Durr

Isbjørn · 02-15-2015, 06:22 AM

But does autism count as retardation? I've been surveilled for mild autism (Asperger syndrome) as well, though we found out that I didn't have it. Didn't get the impression that it was a type of retardation.

Chula Vista · 02-15-2015, 08:23 AM

Dear Briks,

It's not.

Dear Bat,

*fist bump*

Sincerely,
Chula

01-17-2015, 10:07 PM	#151 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Dear Rick, Completely amused, Chula __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

01-17-2015, 10:09 PM	#152 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	Dear Chula, I had too much fun with that one. Love, Lady. __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

01-18-2015, 04:34 AM	#153 (permalink)
GuD Dude... What? Join Date: Oct 2013 Posts: 1,322	Dear Chula I feel like I am four people simultaneausly right now. In about 5 and a half hours I'm supposed to be all tarted up and ready for work. I passed out in front of said work during the baker's-shift and one of them drove me home and promised not to tell Anyways wjat do you do when you can;t stop yourself from compleely destoryifn yosuahskjrlf and yousss sosrta wanna get help but getting help is hella scary because bad drugs they make you take ick ick ick stomach ache anywyas why do i feel like i'm lightyears behind where i'm su[[osed to be for my age. i mean, is it all relative? what if, in 25 years, im sitting at my computre with a cherished animal in my lap and all i can muster is weird conversations with people i doknt know on the internet. also why do cats have buttholes. also i can;t stop thinking about humping a particular coworker and i feel really ashamed about myself because i cant seem to be trusted around attractive human beings cuz the dick gets hard you see. I wanna fukk, errybody. ya see. errybuddy. errehbuddeh. errbudd erbudddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd dddddddddddddddddddddddddd buttholes nana nannaananana naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa nananannanaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa GIMME DUH DRUGDS MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMKAY GIMMEH __________________ I spit bullets in my feet Every time I speak So I write instead And still people want me dead ~msc

01-18-2015, 09:16 AM	#155 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Dear Dude, 100% Serious. Seek out some help. You seem to be at the crossroads and have only two choices. I hope you make the right one. PM anytime me if you want to chat. Concerned, Chula __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

02-01-2015, 11:26 PM	#156 (permalink)
ladyislingering Maelian Join Date: Apr 2012 Location: Seattle Posts: 695	Dear Chula, Recently I threw a birthday party. All my friends (including my boyfriend) showed up to the event. We were having a lovely time, playing all my records and dancing. Until Judy showed up. God, I hate Judy. Well, Judy ended up seducing my boyfriend. They walked out together. She was wearing his ring. What should I do? *****UPDATE********* My boyfriend - Johnny - saw me dancing with another guy and punched him square in the face! I guess he really does care for me. He let ol' Judy down in a hurry. mfw I'm Lesley Gore, and it's my party and I'll cry if I want to. Cry, you stupid bitch!!!! __________________ You and I, We were born to die.

02-02-2015, 12:02 PM	#157 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Dear Lil, Basking in the afterglow............ (Patriots Superbowl) Chula __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”

02-15-2015, 06:22 AM	#159 (permalink)
Isbjørn cooler commie than elph Join Date: Sep 2012 Location: In a hole, help Posts: 2,811	But does autism count as retardation? I've been surveilled for mild autism (Asperger syndrome) as well, though we found out that I didn't have it. Didn't get the impression that it was a type of retardation. __________________ fast(ml) Hear me play the guitar Look, mom! I got a journal

02-15-2015, 08:23 AM	#160 (permalink)
Chula Vista Toasted Poster Join Date: Oct 2014 Location: SoCal by way of Boston Posts: 11,332	Dear Briks, It's not. Dear Bat, fist bump Sincerely, Chula __________________ “The fact that we live at the bottom of a deep gravity well, on the surface of a gas covered planet going around a nuclear fireball 90 million miles away and think this to be normal is obviously some indication of how skewed our perspective tends to be.”