Trollheart Listens to Every Album on Wiki's List for 2017

**Frownland** · 02-25-2018, 01:03 PM

Thought there was a chance you might like Async, but I'm absolutely surprised that you liked Yowie so much. They're really exceptional musicians and their music is pure energy. If you liked that a lot I recommend revisiting Zu. Iirc you reviewed them in metal month and were meh on them.

Trollheart · 02-25-2018, 01:58 PM

Album title: Girls
Artist: EXO-CBX
Genre: K-pop/J-pop
Nationality: Japanese
Release date: May 24
Position in Discography: Debut
Estimated Rating:

Have I heard of this artist? No
Have I heard anything by this artist?
Average RYM Score: 2.95
You know, it occurred to me that in the last few months I might have been a little unfair to K-pop albums. After listening to more of them than any human being should be expected to, I got into the habit of assuming they would be ****, they invariably were, and I wrote little about them other than to slag them off as all being the same basic formula repeated over and over again. The only real difference of note tended to be whether they were a girl or a boy group. But was I being too dismissive of these bands? Was I not giving them a fair shake? You know, maybe: and I decided this time I'd be a little more lenient on this one.

And then I heard it. And I knew I had not only been right all along, but far from being unfair I was in fact being too accommodating. There's a technical term in music for this album, and it's garbage. There's nothing to recommend it. Nothing. To add to the misery, it's not even really a K-pop album (though it kind of is), being the Japanese offshoot of a Korean boy group called, you guessed it, and with apologies to our member: Exo. So not only is this K-pop, it's copied K-pop for the Japanese market. The title couldn't be more banal, and when one of the tracks is called “Girl Problems” I think perhaps they might have been better to have called it “Talent Problems.” Worse than any boyband you can think of, and I bet you can think of a lot. I know I can. Well, these guys are worse than all those. Put together. Avoid, if you wish to keep your lunch down. You have been warned. At least it's only an EP, with a total of seven tracks, which is seven too many.

Check out more from this artist? Oh, let me see, I'll have to think about that!

Check out more from this genre or subgenre? No! No! NO! NO! NO!

Actual Rating:

Trollheart · 02-25-2018, 03:47 PM

Album title: Umarete Kara Hajimete Mita Yume
Artist: Nogizaka46
Genre: J-pop
Nationality: Japanese
Release date: March 24
Position in Discography: Third
Estimated Rating:

Have I heard of this artist? No
Average RYM Score: 2.54
Oh lord, just look at the cover! Are they called Nogizaka46 because there are forty-six of them? It kind of looks like it. All the more to annoy me, then. Well, damn. This is a whole lot better than I had expected. Good melodies, lots of energy, catchy songs – pretty sweet really. “Secret Graffiti” has a very Carpenters feel to it, believe it or not, and to be perfectly honest, there hasn't been a song here so far (that's the fifth track) that I haven't really liked, even loved. “Bianco” has an almost rock feel to it, with a kind of multiple rap as the vocal, sort of reminds me a little of All Saints. Maybe. “Skydiving” is a cool little song, like Kylie meets ABBA. Ah hell: I like everything here. What a nice surprise.
Check out more from this artist? I just might
Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Maybe

Actual Rating:

Trollheart · 02-26-2018, 03:55 PM

Album title: No Grave But the Sea
Artist: Alestorm
Genre: Pirate Metal
Nationality: Scottish
Release date: May 26
Position in Discography: Fifth
Estimated Rating:

Have I heard of this artist? Yes
Have I heard anything by this artist? Yes
Average RYM Score: 3.29
Ah, **** it, I love Alestorm, and I don't care who knows it. Listen, Pirate Metal may or may not be “a thing”, but if it is, Alestorm are at the very top of the (admittedly hardly crowded) ladder. The main thing about Pirate Metal, or certainly Alestorm anyway, is to have a good time, and that's exactly what you get with them. Short, uncomplicated songs, often approaching punk in their simplicity and rawness, invariably about sea battles, buxom maidens, treasure, fightin' and drinkin' and bein' a pirate. Avast there mateys! Etc. Look, Alestorm do not give a ****: the special edition of this album comes with the vocal track removed from each song and replaced with ... dogs barking! Why? Maybe cos they're barking mad? Well, Alestorm is why. This is the kind of people we're dealing with here: if it's fun, they'll do it, even if it really makes no sense. Now, I'm hardly about to review the “For Dogs” version of this album, but I'm happy to cast off and head for a distant horizon as these Scottish buccaneers take us on a voyage of mayhem, madness and, incidentally, music. Splice the mainbrace! Hoist the tops'l! And so on. You get the idea.

If it's drinking songs you want, look no further than “Mexico” or the eponymous “Alestorm”, and how can you resist a track called “****ed With an Anchor”?

Opening lines: “**** you! You're a ****ing wanker! We're gonna punch you right in the balls!” Oh, my ****ing sides!

Of course it's totally cliched, the lyrics the kind of thing you'd hear in a Robert Louis Stevenson novel or any pirate movie, (well, not those ones, of course!) but damn it, it's fun! And the guys can play, too. It's good metal with a hard edge of grinnin' humour, like dancing by moonlight with the corpse of your best friend who got taken out by a Navy cannonball, the scurvy dogs, they'll pay for that! If you can't enjoy this on at least a purely surface level, go book your coffin cos you're already dead.

Look, I guess if pirating is not your thing, or humour, satire or, hell, just having a good time, you probably won't enjoy this album. But we don't want your sort around here, so there's the door, and make sure ye close it behind ye: there's a chill wind comin' in that'd freeze the parrot offa the shoulder o' the 'ardiest corsair. Now, by Blackbeard's ghost, whose round is it?

Check out more from this artist? Oh aye matey!
Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yes: I love Pirate Metal. **** you all down to Davy Jones' Locker!

Actual Rating:

Trollheart · 02-26-2018, 05:34 PM

Album title: True to Self
Artist: Bryson Tiller
Genre: R&B/Hip-hop/Trap
Nationality: American
Release date: May 26
Position in Discography: Second
Estimated Rating:

Have I heard of this artist? No
Average RYM Score: 2.32
It may seem impossible, but this is actually worse than listening to Travis Scott. I know, I know, but it is. The guy's voice sets my teeth on edge, his music is dull and uninspiring, and he uses the N-word constantly – in one song, it ends almost every line. I just can't see anything good about this. I wish I were back at sea with Alestorm. Avast me heart – I mean, sod this for a game of pirat- uh, soldiers. Man overboard!

Check out more from this artist? No
Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yes

Trollheart · 02-26-2018, 06:16 PM

Album title: Songs On My Sleeve
Artist: Caitlin Shadbolt
Genre: Pop/Country
Nationality: Australian
Release date: May 26
Position in Discography: Debut
Estimated Rating:

Have I heard of this artist? No
Average RYM Score: N/A
This is not at all bad. Pretty much bro country (or the female equivalent, whatever that is: Ho Country?

) but she has some good songs. “Get to Me” is a bitter break-up song with real “gurl power” behind it, “Me Without You” is kind of the flipside of that, and overall not an album that's going to change anyone's world; not going to challenge Shania or Faith in the country pop stakes, but if this is regarded as bro/girl country, it's a whole lot better than ninety-nine percent of the former, and a pretty damn fine album really. “Cloud 10” is a nice ballad that manages not to be too cloying, though “Suddenly” is pretty **** really. It's the only one of twelve tracks that don't impress me though, so that's not bad, and the closer more than makes up for it.

Check out more from this artist? Might
Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yeah

Actual Rating:

The Batlord · 02-26-2018, 07:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Trollheart

and he uses the N-word constantly – in one song, it ends almost every line.

Good luck with hip hop.

**Frownland** · 02-26-2018, 07:44 PM

OccultHawk · 02-26-2018, 11:16 PM

I like Bryson Tiller fwiw

Oriphiel · 02-27-2018, 05:13 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Frownland

02-25-2018, 01:03 PM	#1981 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	Thought there was a chance you might like Async, but I'm absolutely surprised that you liked Yowie so much. They're really exceptional musicians and their music is pure energy. If you liked that a lot I recommend revisiting Zu. Iirc you reviewed them in metal month and were meh on them. __________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

02-25-2018, 01:58 PM	#1982 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Album title: Girls Artist: EXO-CBX Genre: K-pop/J-pop Nationality: Japanese Release date: May 24 Position in Discography: Debut Estimated Rating: Have I heard of this artist? No Have I heard anything by this artist? Average RYM Score: 2.95 You know, it occurred to me that in the last few months I might have been a little unfair to K-pop albums. After listening to more of them than any human being should be expected to, I got into the habit of assuming they would be **, they invariably were, and I wrote little about them other than to slag them off as all being the same basic formula repeated over and over again. The only real difference of note tended to be whether they were a girl or a boy group. But was I being too dismissive of these bands? Was I not giving them a fair shake? You know, maybe: and I decided this time I'd be a little more lenient on this one. And then I heard it. And I knew I had not only been right all along, but far from being unfair I was in fact being too accommodating. There's a technical term in music for this album, and it's garbage. There's nothing to recommend it. Nothing. To add to the misery, it's not even really a K-pop album (though it kind of is), being the Japanese offshoot of a Korean boy group called, you guessed it, and with apologies to our member: Exo. So not only is this K-pop, it's copied K-pop for the Japanese market. The title couldn't be more banal, and when one of the tracks is called “Girl Problems” I think perhaps they might have been better to have called it “Talent Problems.” Worse than any boyband you can think of, and I bet you can think of a lot. I know I can. Well, these guys are worse than all those. Put together. Avoid, if you wish to keep your lunch down. You have been warned. At least it's only an EP, with a total of seven tracks, which is seven too many. Check out more from this artist? Oh, let me see, I'll have to think about that! Check out more from this genre or subgenre? No! No! NO! NO! NO! Actual Rating:** __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

02-25-2018, 03:47 PM	#1983 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Album title: Umarete Kara Hajimete Mita Yume Artist: Nogizaka46 Genre: J-pop Nationality: Japanese Release date: March 24 Position in Discography: Third Estimated Rating: Have I heard of this artist? No Average RYM Score: 2.54 Oh lord, just look at the cover! Are they called Nogizaka46 because there are forty-six of them? It kind of looks like it. All the more to annoy me, then. Well, damn. This is a whole lot better than I had expected. Good melodies, lots of energy, catchy songs – pretty sweet really. “Secret Graffiti” has a very Carpenters feel to it, believe it or not, and to be perfectly honest, there hasn't been a song here so far (that's the fifth track) that I haven't really liked, even loved. “Bianco” has an almost rock feel to it, with a kind of multiple rap as the vocal, sort of reminds me a little of All Saints. Maybe. “Skydiving” is a cool little song, like Kylie meets ABBA. Ah hell: I like everything here. What a nice surprise. Check out more from this artist? I just might Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Maybe Actual Rating: __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

02-26-2018, 03:55 PM	#1984 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Album title: No Grave But the Sea Artist: Alestorm Genre: Pirate Metal Nationality: Scottish Release date: May 26 Position in Discography: Fifth Estimated Rating: Have I heard of this artist? Yes Have I heard anything by this artist? Yes Average RYM Score: 3.29 Ah, ** it, I love Alestorm, and I don't care who knows it. Listen, Pirate Metal may or may not be “a thing”, but if it is, Alestorm are at the very top of the (admittedly hardly crowded) ladder. The main thing about Pirate Metal, or certainly Alestorm anyway, is to have a good time, and that's exactly what you get with them. Short, uncomplicated songs, often approaching punk in their simplicity and rawness, invariably about sea battles, buxom maidens, treasure, fightin' and drinkin' and bein' a pirate. Avast there mateys! Etc. Look, Alestorm do not give a : the special edition of this album comes with the vocal track removed from each song and replaced with ... dogs barking! Why? Maybe cos they're barking mad? Well, Alestorm is why. This is the kind of people we're dealing with here: if it's fun, they'll do it, even if it really makes no sense. Now, I'm hardly about to review the “For Dogs” version of this album, but I'm happy to cast off and head for a distant horizon as these Scottish buccaneers take us on a voyage of mayhem, madness and, incidentally, music. Splice the mainbrace! Hoist the tops'l! And so on. You get the idea. If it's drinking songs you want, look no further than “Mexico” or the eponymous “Alestorm”, and how can you resist a track called “ed With an Anchor”? Opening lines: “ you! You're a ing wanker! We're gonna punch you right in the balls!” Oh, my *ing sides! Of course it's totally cliched, the lyrics the kind of thing you'd hear in a Robert Louis Stevenson novel or any pirate movie, (well, not those* ones, of course!) but damn it, it's fun! And the guys can play, too. It's good metal with a hard edge of grinnin' humour, like dancing by moonlight with the corpse of your best friend who got taken out by a Navy cannonball, the scurvy dogs, they'll pay for that! If you can't enjoy this on at least a purely surface level, go book your coffin cos you're already dead. Look, I guess if pirating is not your thing, or humour, satire or, hell, just having a good time, you probably won't enjoy this album. But we don't want your sort around here, so there's the door, and make sure ye close it behind ye: there's a chill wind comin' in that'd freeze the parrot offa the shoulder o' the 'ardiest corsair. Now, by Blackbeard's ghost, whose round is it? Check out more from this artist? Oh aye matey! Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yes: I love Pirate Metal. ** you all down to Davy Jones' Locker! Actual Rating:** __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

02-26-2018, 05:34 PM	#1985 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Album title: True to Self Artist: Bryson Tiller Genre: R&B/Hip-hop/Trap Nationality: American Release date: May 26 Position in Discography: Second Estimated Rating: Have I heard of this artist? No Average RYM Score: 2.32 It may seem impossible, but this is actually worse than listening to Travis Scott. I know, I know, but it is. The guy's voice sets my teeth on edge, his music is dull and uninspiring, and he uses the N-word constantly – in one song, it ends almost every line. I just can't see anything good about this. I wish I were back at sea with Alestorm. Avast me heart – I mean, sod this for a game of pirat- uh, soldiers. Man overboard! Check out more from this artist? No Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yes __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

02-26-2018, 06:16 PM	#1986 (permalink)
Trollheart Born to be mild Join Date: Oct 2008 Location: 404 Not Found Posts: 26,992	Album title: Songs On My Sleeve Artist: Caitlin Shadbolt Genre: Pop/Country Nationality: Australian Release date: May 26 Position in Discography: Debut Estimated Rating: Have I heard of this artist? No Average RYM Score: N/A This is not at all bad. Pretty much bro country (or the female equivalent, whatever that is: Ho Country? ) but she has some good songs. “Get to Me” is a bitter break-up song with real “gurl power” behind it, “Me Without You” is kind of the flipside of that, and overall not an album that's going to change anyone's world; not going to challenge Shania or Faith in the country pop stakes, but if this is regarded as bro/girl country, it's a whole lot better than ninety-nine percent of the former, and a pretty damn fine album really. “Cloud 10” is a nice ballad that manages not to be too cloying, though “Suddenly” is pretty ** really. It's the only one of twelve tracks that don't impress me though, so that's not bad, and the closer more than makes up for it. Check out more from this artist? Might Check out more from this genre or subgenre? Yeah Actual Rating:** __________________ Trollheart: Signature-free since April 2018

02-26-2018, 07:44 PM	#1988 (permalink)
Frownland SOPHIE FOREVER Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: East of the Southern North American West Posts: 35,541	__________________ Studies show that when a given norm is changed in the face of the unchanging, the remaining contradictions will parallel the truth. d e a f b o x

02-26-2018, 11:16 PM	#1989 (permalink)
OccultHawk one-balled nipple jockey Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: Dirty Souf Biatch Posts: 22,006	I like Bryson Tiller fwiw __________________ 2016 2017 2018 2019 2020 Member of the Year & Journal of the Year Champion Behold the Writing of THE LEGEND: https://www.musicbanter.com/members-...p-lighter.html