Frownland

Since I'm fairly positive that Trollheart will hate (most of) this, I'll just put it in here.

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DeadChannel

Eliane Radigue - La Trilogie De La Mort.

Have fun.

grindy

Someone give Batlord 2-3 six packs of beer for gods sake, or this thread will die.

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YorkeDaddy

Yeah come on Batty, not everything that's been recommended will be as bad as Frown's recs

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grindy

But that's the whole point of this thread.

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YorkeDaddy

He asked for stuff that he "probably" hates, not "definitely" hates. Loopholes :P

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The Batlord

I was still hungover yesterday, so I flaked.

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The Batlord

Oh god damn it, is this really an hour and a half of overblown, concept album, prog rock that Trollheart thinks is "avant garde"? ****...


1. "The Eve of the War" 9:06: Wait, so this is being narrated by an old, British guy with a deep voice? Am I about listen to a movie-length version of "The Rime of the Ancient Mariner"? Dude, I love Iron Maiden, but I think thirteen minutes is their limit.

Alright, I'm a cheesy **** who listens to Manowar's wannabe, symphonic, garbage "experiments" and still calls them epic, so when the epic violins or whatever start, I'm all ready to cut into some cheese, but then they make way for a disco beat and I'm just like, "What?" But it's kinda gettin' my booty shakin', so it's all good I guess. Just a different form of cheese.

Alright, why does everything sound like a synth? The violins sound like synths, the guitar sounds like a synth, and the synths just sound like uber-synths. Honestly, I'm not even disliking this, I'm just mocking it cause I'm two minutes in and it's already completely ludicrous. I've actually paused the music just so I can concentrate on imparting just how goofy it sounds.

That flute kinda sounds like a synth too.

No vocals apparently. Good. I don't need to hear those lyrics.

Alright, not that I particularly give a **** about how brilliantly this album will musically represent War of the Worlds, but there's about a four minute, disco-tastic section between the opening monologue, which introduces the idea of an invasion, and the next piece of narration, where the guy tells us that the Martians are actually starting their attack. Okay, so what was the disco intro (the disctro) supposed to represent? The Martian war preparations? Humanity's hubris in thinking itself the most powerful species in the universe? Denny's? I'm confused.

Well, the disco is back, accompanied by synths that would sound like B-rate, sci-fi movie lasers, regardless of the context. I'm reminded of a certain episode of Friends.

Oh god damn it, there's singing. And did it have to be cheesy-sounding harmony singing that could only ever happen on a seventies, wuss rock album? Tell me these will be few and far between. Don't even ask me about the lyrics. I'm ignoring them.

Alright, if the rest of the album has disco prog that catchy, then I can laugh at all of the cheesy nonsense in peace. I don't know if this is supposed to be the album version of a B-rate sci-fi movie, but either way, this might be just as ironically glorious. Maybe Dream Theater and SKRILLEX should collaborate for an Independence Day concept album.

2. "Horsell Common and The Heat Ray" 11:36: Oh god, they're trying to use guitars to make sound effects for the opening of a space ship. It's just as retarded as it sounds.

I feel like this is the album that someone would make if they'd heard the term "space rock", but had never actually listened to any of it. I wonder where I got that concept from?

I think the disco has crossed over into actual white boy funk, backed with B-rate sci-fi guitar playing. It's not as entertaining as the first song, but it makes up for the lack by being even goofier. And that old British guy is just elevating everything to a whole 'nother level of brilliant absurdity.

3. "The Artilleryman and The Fighting Machine" 10:36: Alright, with that faux-funk in the background, the old British guy sounds like he's talking dirty to me. Then he starts talking to some other British guy, and it feels like he's cruising during an alien invasion. Now THAT would be avant garde.

I was hoping that boring guitar solo would end quickly. It did. To make room for a boring synth solo. Then the old British bum-driller gives us a quick respite.. before more boring prog solos. Only three minutes into a ten minute song, so it's anyone's guess how much boring solos I'm going to have to endure, but this album has been light on the wank so far, so I have high hopes that they won't overpower my ability to like this, cause I actually do, even if this song isn't as good as the first two. It doesn't have the booty shakin' magnetism of the first track, and it isn't at the same level of ridiculousness as the second.

Alright, that proto-Sonic the Hedgehog midi music guitar solo is pretty sweet.

OMFG!!! I was just listening to a few seconds of a Sonic level theme just to make sure my reference made sense (Star Light Zone from the first game FYI) and this album sounds almost exactly like it! It's uncanny! I gotta play this **** for my buddy who's a Sonic fan. He'll flip his ****. Just how much prog rock sounds like old school video game music anyway? I need to know.

God damn, I need to stop pausing this album just so I can make fun of it. It's been probably at least an hour, and I'm only thirty minutes in. God damn.

4. "Forever Autumn" 7:43: Oh god damn it, more harmony singing! They're lamenting the narrator's dead family or something. There's birds flying south and disappearing and **** and it's goofy in a lame way. Bring back the old British queer. I may not always have the attention span to listen to what he's actually saying, but at least he doesn't sound like a second-rate Kansas (the band, not the state).

"Like the sun through the trees, you came to love me"? Really?

"Like a leaf on a breeze, you blew away"?



5. "Thunder Child" 6:03: I'm gonna cut this entry off at this song, since this is a double album, and this is the end of the first record. It's already going long anyway.

More singing. Let me enjoy my midi music in peace, god damn it! If this album insists on being this ridiculous and overblown, then it at least needs Bruce Dickinson to make it work when there's singing to be done.


So, whenever there wasn't singing, I was thoroughly entertained, though I wasn't always entertained with the album. Thank god the singing wasn't that prevalent though, or else it would have ruined it. Now to listen to disc 2...

Final verdict:


/10

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The Batlord

1. "The Red Weed (Part 1)" 5:51: This ambient intro with the flutes, horns, and Theramin is actually pretty creepy and atmospheric. It's still B-rate sci-fi, but the song legitimately works like it's supposed to this time.

2. "The Spirit of Man" 11:45: Wait, so is some Martian plant killing people? LOL.

Maybe a prog fan could distinguish different songs on this album, but after an hour of this, they're all starting to run together. And when prog starts to run together, then it becomes background music. Still fun, but I'm starting to fade.

Who the **** are these terrible singers? I think the guy is Phil Lynott from Thin Lizzy, but he sounds cartoonishly overwrought singing over disco video game music. I don't even give a **** about finding out who the chick is.

This song is way too mellow. Cheese shouldn't try to sound heavy. It just becomes tedious. Someone get me some drugs. Oh god, they keep going on about "the spirit of man" in a way that I assume is supposed to be profound (I'm only half paying attention TBH). Stop singing, please.

3. "The Red Weed (Part 2)" 6:19: ****ing Phil Lynott is still going on, and he's talking about praying the Martians away. He's supposed to be an idiot, but he's still annoying.

Yay! The Martians killed him!

It feels like the cheesy disco prog of the first disc is being replaced by overblown prog, backed by an orchestra, and while it's more atmospheric, it's also kind of boring. I don't think this second album is going to be half as fun as the first. At least they killed Phil Lynott, though.

It's also more story-based. Most of the dialogue was the old British guy narrating, but now there are other characters, and they have scenes and dialogue, and I don't have the attention span to really pay attention to what they're saying half the time. It's the same reason why I don't listen to books on tape.

4. "Brave New World" 12:36: Oh god damn it. They kill one guy who sounds like **** singing on this album, only to replace him with another one. I don't care if this dude is famous too, cause he just sounds awful here. I guess it's an improvement over the harmony singing, but only because it's actually part of the story, and not just out of place nonsense.

It's possible I might come to appreciate this more, when I take in more of the story on subsequent listens, but the singing will remain forever lame. "All over a-GAIN!!! All over a-GAIN!!!"

Holy ****, the song totally changed without me noticing, and now it's almost over. I had to cut and paste the last two paragraphs to put them with the right song.

5. "Dead London" 8:36: Boring synths? Check. Lack of fun disco? Check. Cliched intro of desolate wind? Check. This song will clearly save this album for me. Thankfully, after this song there's just the epilogue.

Fading fast now. Waiting for this to be over. At least the other annoying singer is gone. I think he led a bunch of survivors underground to live in an isolated utopia or something. I hope there's a cave in. I don't want them to be crushed, I just hope that they have to wait for hours as their air slowly runs out.

Alright, the orchestra is just ripping off Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 now- hey, there's a fun disco beat! It's a retread from the first album, but it's still an improvement over the tediousness of the rest of this one. It's too little too late at this point, but at least I'll be able to get something else out of this before it ends.

6. "Epilogue" 4:35: Home stretch. Here we go... oh yeah, the Martians are dead now. I'm sure everybody on Earth knows it was disease that killed them, so... SPOILER ALERT!

Some actual cool drumming, but those horns are just a tad too overblown for their own good, and the synths are nothing to write home about. Maybe I'm just too fatigued to give this a fair shake, but I'm just waiting for it to end ATM.


And with a foreboding outro/intro from years in the future, implying a second Martian attack, the album ends and I am free. First disc: stupid, but fun. Second disc: stupid, but tedious. Might give it another shot one of these days, but I'm not tripping over my own feet to listen to it again.

Final verdict:


/10

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Chula Vista

Give this one a shot.

Karizma - Document

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