Yes - Tales From Topographic Oceans
So i'm sitting at home debating whether to listen to Hex Enduction Hour for the millionth time when I hit upon an idea. Why don't I take a difficult album and see how long I can endure it.
The choice was an easy one after taking an instant dislike to this album on reputation alone now was the time to listen to it and see if that reputation is justified. Given that even some prog fans think this is overblown crap it will be interesting to see when a layman like myself makes of it. And if I don't like it, well at least I can thank it for being so ridiculously pompous & self absorbed that it helped create punk.
On we go....
00:20 - Some weird chanting, I appear to have picked up a Current 93 album by mistake.
01:30 - Oooh it's getting dramatic now
01:35 - Synths come in. It all seems to have gone a bit 'pages from Ceefax-ish'
03:07 - Vocals kick in at last
04:06 - It's just dawned on me i'm listening to an album with a Roger Dean cover, someone please kill me.
05:00 - Is Jon Anderson a secret Bee Gee's brother?
06:25 - I have to say this is holding my attention far more than I expected
06:55 - Oooh it's kicked in at last, ROCK N ROLL !!!!!!!!!
07:50 - Sorry but this still sounds like the Bee Gee's doing musical theatre to me
08:25 - Starting to get worried that i'm enjoying listening to the Bee Gee's doing musical theatre.
09:10 - Is this the end of the first song? Oh wait it's just the halfway mellow point.
10:00 - Vocals by Jon Anderson (Aged 12)
11:11 - Funky piano, nicely timed too I was starting to get a bit bored, my interest just perked up again.
12:18 - Guitar solo and i'm actually enjoying it too, nothing to overstated & bounces along nicely with the song.
13:05 - Slow introspective bit with epic crashing cymbals ... yawn.
15:00 - How the hell have I made it this far? Still feels like i've just started.
15:30 - Wish this slow bit would end
16:00 - Boredom beginning to set in.
16:40 - Oh here we go
17:00 - Wakeman goes mental, the rest of the band sounds like they're making music for some chase scene on some cop show. I'm loving this.
17:30 - Well that didn't last long. I was enjoying that too.
18:20 - Shut the f
uck up Anderson, I want Wakeman back.
19:30 - Ooh we're building up to the climax now.
19:50 - Sounds like it's going out with a whimper rather than a bang, disappointing.
20:25 - Holy s
hit, I made it to the end of the first song. One down three to go.
21:00 - Second song starts off really quietly, I have to be honest for an album with the reputation this one has I was expecting something much more overblown , bombastic & dramatic. A lot of it seems quite introspective.
22:40 - This intro seems to be lasting forever.
25:00 - I'm really beginning to lose interest now. This song isn't going anywhere.
27:00 - Sod this i'm nipping out for a cigarette.
32:37 - Sounds exactly the same as it did when I left.
33:39 - The song seems to have finally upped a gear at last.
35:00 - The more 'rock' moments of this album are quite good, It's just having to wait 10 minutes for Jon Anderson to warbling about skies & suns & moons you have to endure to get to them that makes it annoying.
37:48 - Just over 3 minutes of the song remaining and yet again another long drawn out outro.
38:10 - Oh wait another verse, forget that last comment.
40:00 - F
uck sake , just end will you.
41:00 - At last, I hope the 3rd song is better.
41:30 - Well this is a bit different, Nice bit of percussion there.
43:00 - OK it wasn't THAT good. You can start the song now, please?
44:00 - Please start the song lads
44:22 - Is this it now?
44.23 - No it's another slow synth peace. You bastards, you got me going there.
45:25 - Oh great now he's singing along with it I hope the whole bloody song isn't like this.
46:22 - Stop / Start / Stop / Start / Stop / Start ... Yawn
47:10 - I'm sure they're making this up as they go along.
48:00 - I'm seriously beginning to debate surfing porn or something.
49:00 - I'm really struggling to see how this song was written it just seems like random band members showing off.
50:00 - Apparently the whole album with bonus tracks goes on for 2 hours, f
uck that.
50:39 - Nine whole minutes of this damn song left, shame because I was really hoping i'd get to the hour mark.
51:35 - This whole continuous background guitar solo is seriously getting on my nerves now.
52:10 - Yeah thanks, Just suddenly stop the song get me all hoping it'll kick back off again with something special & then carry on with the same meandering rubbish thats been on for the last 12 minutes.
53:00 - Oh wow a guitar solo ................ AGAIN.
53:50 - Jon Anderson & Steve Howe appear to have gone into medieval minstrel mode.
53:52 - Check my spelling of the word 'medieval', Yes I spelled it wrong.
56:ish - Bugger , just reset my stopwatch by mistake.
57:ish - Feel like I should grab a lute & walk around saying 'hey nonny nonny' just to fit in.
59:ish Work out that 13 seconds into song 4 is the hour mark
59:laterish - Thank God thats over with.
60:00 - New song & my stopwatch restarted, now lets get to the end of this f
ucker.
61:38 - 20 mins to go. This song is alright when it decides to go somewhere.
63:00 - Come on lads rock out a bit, you are a rock band after all. It is allowed you know.
63:47 - My first yawn. I was expecting that 60 minutes earlier than this.
64:27 - Second yawn
65:09 - It's just occured to me most of this album exactly sounds the same for the most part, It's either individual keyboard parts or individual guitar parts that all sound the same. it's just broken up with different 'rock' bits.
68:00 - Seriously considering turning this off now, There's only 14 mins left but that's 14 minutes of my life i'll never see again.
68:45 - Badly in need of a piss.
69:30 - Decide to wait it out.
70:00 - This just sounds like really bad soft rock, I have no idea how this band get the praise they do judging by this stuff. I don't even get the impression i'm listening to really talented musicians because it just seems so bland.
72:00 - A halfway exciting bit at last, as I reach the final 10 minute countdown.
73.15 - You know what would be good now, a blistering guitar solo
73.20 - Oh here it comes
73:50 - More functional than blistering, oh well.
74:10 - Everything stops & we get loads of people banging cutlery together. Well I wasn't expecting that.
74:50 - Oh great, A f
uckng drum solo. Way to make me listen right till the end you bastards.
76:30 - Seems to have descended into noise, Oh yeah it's easy to do now you've had 76 mins of showing off first.
77:20 - Please don't tell me I have 4 minutes of this soft muzak rubbish with Anderson warbling over it to end this thing.
78:30 - Looks like I do. F
uck it i'll just block my ears & hum for 3 minutes ..... I CAN DO THIS!!!!!!
79:40 - He appears to be singing about a circus, I think thats the first time on the whole album I actually paid any attention to any of the lyrics.
80:40 - We're building up to the big rock ending now
80:55 - And then it all goes quite again,way to spoil it STOP DOING THAT.
81:20 - Is that the end now?
81:35 - FUCK ME I DID IT !!!!!! TAKE THAT YOU PROG LOVING FUCKS, I TOOK ON THE BEST YOU GOT AND WON.
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Things I learnt listening to Tales From Topographic Oceans
Jon Anderson's vocals gets on my tits.
He can't write lyrics for shit either.
I came out of this wanting to hear more Yes, Just not this album ever again.
The first song was alright, But in a really camp way.
I wasn't expecting this album to be so light & poppy, I thought it would be more hard rock & virtuoso like with lots of classical inspired pieces.
I now have a healthy respect Steve Howe & Rick Wakeman as musicians even if I did want them to shut the hell up on more than one occasion.
It's nowhere near as terrible as I expected, with a different vocalist and better lyrics I would have liked this a lot more.
I can see why punk happened.
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93:20 - Wonders if he can get Boo Boo to do the same thing for Hex Enduction Hour
