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Engine · 02-08-2013, 08:04 PM

I realized that one thing the Internet is missing is a review of the new My Bloody Valentine album. It seems like the release of this album would be pretty important to a lot of people but I couldn’t find anything. Since nobody seems to care about the album, I decided to write a review of it because I think the release of the album is a pretty special occasion. I think it’s the first one ever written.

Like the band’s music, my thoughts of it are rather base and visceral. They seem to come from a primal place. But, in modern human terms, I’ll say right off the bat that I think the album is excellent and easily qualifies as a stranded-on-a-deserted-island record for me. Seriously, I fucking love this thing.

My impression is that Kevin Sheilds had great fun playing with all of the digital technology that is now available to him and was not twenty years ago. The band had already gone crazy with layers of melodic-ish noise even before they had an infinite number of digital tracks at their disposal. I’ll bet that Mr. Shields has been playing with sounds for the past twenty years and that a good chunk of those years were spent refining his bands sound to the point that he felt ready to unleash an album. It was definitely worth the wait.

Please note that I do not kiss ass. I would not endorse the sound of a recorded album based only on who made the sounds, especially in the case of My Bloody Valentine. I don’t know any of them at all. If they had not made music that set my heart and mind afire twenty years ago, I probably wouldn’t even remember their name, distinct as it is. If they gave interviews, I have not read them. I never saw them on television. Granted, I did see them play their old material live when they toured in 2009, and I did sort of fall in love with the female members of the band, but that happens to me all the time when I see women play music live. It has nothing to do with my impression of the new MBV album.

So how ‘bout I discuss the album, eh? Okay, yeah, that’s the point of this.

I’m not going to give a track-by-track analysis of it because I have found that to be very boring whether writing or reading. So I’ll talk about it organically. Please forgive any dissentions into generality or specificity because those will probably emerge. Here goes..

The album starts off the same way humanity did, crawling out of a primordial soup. The first song is a mumbly mush of electronic noise. No heavy melodies but a forceful sound that reminds us all that, yes, this is the band that made Loveless. We love them for that and the band knows it. So the opener is good. It sets a mood.

The next tracks get down to business and set the stage. The subsequent orgasm is foreplayed as soon as the first drum beat kicks, which happens immediately. But this is just the second song out of Forty Six Point Five minutes of music so there’s no way they’ll shoot their load yet. After twenty-some years, the band knows how to work it better than that. But the second song is beautiful, groovy, and enticing. It’s fun. They seem to have taken a note from mid-1980s The Cure and added a little bit of happypop to their chilly sound. But not too much. The band is still withholding love from the listener but giving out just enough that they know were staying for damn sure.

The third song, ‘who sees you’ is a Loveless Two Point O number. Beautiful, layered, distorted, cold, and poppy. This is what they do. This is how My Bloody Valentine makes their money. The fourth song, ‘is this and yes’ is proof that somebody’s been playing with synths for a very long time. Its like some 1980s new age shit made with 2000s tech and a My Bloody Valentine signature.

With only five songs left before we have to wait another twenty years for new material, m b v takes off. The rest of the album fucking rocks in that special way that the band does. Take the catchiest songs from Loveless, analyze the piss out of them. Then create some similar sounds and add a whole lot of effects and you’ve got the next bunch of songs. They are blissful. I don’t like it when people use the word bliss lightly and I’m not doing that. These songs offer bliss and I suggest taking them hard and raw.

By the time that the penultimate song, ‘nothing is’ finishes, you’ve probably already come. I mean literally you probably had an orgasm. If not then you should find someone who shares your interest in My Bloody Valentine, restart the album and fuck for about 40 minutes. The last song, ‘wonder 2’ is an enigma to me. It fits the My Bloody Valentine mould but it’s all over the place and not in the pleasant way to which we’ve become accustomed. Rather, it’s kind of a noisy mindfuck. It doesn’t wrap me me in a comfy wet blanket like every other song does. It sounds like the music that a U.S. military band would play as soldiers take over a newly discovered habitable planet by donning outer-space armor and mowing down aliens with some kind of space-age ordnance. I’ve yet to wrap my mind around the album’s closer. I hope that you orgasmed before the last song begins because, if not, you may remember the whole album as an angry, dissatisfying sexual experience.

So there ya go. That’s my review of this obscure little album that will eventually be revered by future generations.

02-08-2013, 08:04 PM	#17 (permalink)
Engine air quote Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: pollen & mold Posts: 3,108	My Bloody Valentine - m b v (2013) I realized that one thing the Internet is missing is a review of the new My Bloody Valentine album. It seems like the release of this album would be pretty important to a lot of people but I couldn’t find anything. Since nobody seems to care about the album, I decided to write a review of it because I think the release of the album is a pretty special occasion. I think it’s the first one ever written. Like the band’s music, my thoughts of it are rather base and visceral. They seem to come from a primal place. But, in modern human terms, I’ll say right off the bat that I think the album is excellent and easily qualifies as a stranded-on-a-deserted-island record for me. Seriously, I fucking love this thing. My impression is that Kevin Sheilds had great fun playing with all of the digital technology that is now available to him and was not twenty years ago. The band had already gone crazy with layers of melodic-ish noise even before they had an infinite number of digital tracks at their disposal. I’ll bet that Mr. Shields has been playing with sounds for the past twenty years and that a good chunk of those years were spent refining his bands sound to the point that he felt ready to unleash an album. It was definitely worth the wait. Please note that I do not kiss ass. I would not endorse the sound of a recorded album based only on who made the sounds, especially in the case of My Bloody Valentine. I don’t know any of them at all. If they had not made music that set my heart and mind afire twenty years ago, I probably wouldn’t even remember their name, distinct as it is. If they gave interviews, I have not read them. I never saw them on television. Granted, I did see them play their old material live when they toured in 2009, and I did sort of fall in love with the female members of the band, but that happens to me all the time when I see women play music live. It has nothing to do with my impression of the new MBV album. So how ‘bout I discuss the album, eh? Okay, yeah, that’s the point of this. I’m not going to give a track-by-track analysis of it because I have found that to be very boring whether writing or reading. So I’ll talk about it organically. Please forgive any dissentions into generality or specificity because those will probably emerge. Here goes.. The album starts off the same way humanity did, crawling out of a primordial soup. The first song is a mumbly mush of electronic noise. No heavy melodies but a forceful sound that reminds us all that, yes, this is the band that made Loveless. We love them for that and the band knows it. So the opener is good. It sets a mood. The next tracks get down to business and set the stage. The subsequent orgasm is foreplayed as soon as the first drum beat kicks, which happens immediately. But this is just the second song out of Forty Six Point Five minutes of music so there’s no way they’ll shoot their load yet. After twenty-some years, the band knows how to work it better than that. But the second song is beautiful, groovy, and enticing. It’s fun. They seem to have taken a note from mid-1980s The Cure and added a little bit of happypop to their chilly sound. But not too much. The band is still withholding love from the listener but giving out just enough that they know were staying for damn sure. The third song, ‘who sees you’ is a Loveless Two Point O number. Beautiful, layered, distorted, cold, and poppy. This is what they do. This is how My Bloody Valentine makes their money. The fourth song, ‘is this and yes’ is proof that somebody’s been playing with synths for a very long time. Its like some 1980s new age shit made with 2000s tech and a My Bloody Valentine signature. With only five songs left before we have to wait another twenty years for new material, m b v takes off. The rest of the album fucking rocks in that special way that the band does. Take the catchiest songs from Loveless, analyze the piss out of them. Then create some similar sounds and add a whole lot of effects and you’ve got the next bunch of songs. They are blissful. I don’t like it when people use the word bliss lightly and I’m not doing that. These songs offer bliss and I suggest taking them hard and raw. By the time that the penultimate song, ‘nothing is’ finishes, you’ve probably already come. I mean literally you probably had an orgasm. If not then you should find someone who shares your interest in My Bloody Valentine, restart the album and fuck for about 40 minutes. The last song, ‘wonder 2’ is an enigma to me. It fits the My Bloody Valentine mould but it’s all over the place and not in the pleasant way to which we’ve become accustomed. Rather, it’s kind of a noisy mindfuck. It doesn’t wrap me me in a comfy wet blanket like every other song does. It sounds like the music that a U.S. military band would play as soldiers take over a newly discovered habitable planet by donning outer-space armor and mowing down aliens with some kind of space-age ordnance. I’ve yet to wrap my mind around the album’s closer. I hope that you orgasmed before the last song begins because, if not, you may remember the whole album as an angry, dissatisfying sexual experience. So there ya go. That’s my review of this obscure little album that will eventually be revered by future generations. __________________ Like an arrow, I was only passing through.